Ethical masturbation

Ethical masturbation does NOT refer to a literal act of masturbation performed ethically, rather, it refers to an act of self loathing and self deprecation done with the goal to ease one's mind, it is often done as follows (conversation example):

Ethical masturbator: oh no, big bad me did a big bad thing
a normal person: maybe do something about it, then?
Ethical masturbator: no, I will just sit here and talk myself down so that I feel like I have been true to myself and so I won't feel guilty about something-bad-that-I-did/something-bad-that-just-happened-on-it's-own even despite the fact that I did nothing to fix it.

another form of Ethical masturbation is doing the same exact thing but rather than just indulging in self-loathing, one might also start asking supernatural entities (gods, spirits, ETC) for forgiveness

just saying that you are bad won't fix things, it's not remorse - it's Ethical masturbation

by Leo of the Харків December 28, 2024

Emo masturbator

A individual so weak minded that has nothing better to do than to masturbate to the cuts on his body.

Alejandro is such an emo masturbator I'm going to get a ppo on him .

by Ppogiver September 11, 2018

<.0.6.7.6.>Psychosomatically Masturbating Psychosocomatically<.0.6.7.6.0.>

<.0.6.7.6.>Psychosomatically Masturbating Psychosocomatically<.0.6.7.6.0.>

<.0.6.7.6.>Psychosomatically Masturbating Psychosocomatically<.0.6.7.6.0.>

by TheGeneralGenitalsPranksterian May 7, 2025

Masturbating

What you’re doing right now.

People masturbating make up most of Urban Dictionary’s traffic. In fact, probably the entire internet’s traffic in general.

by Your pseudonym :3 September 20, 2023

Masturbate

Verb

To stroke your penis up and down until white shit comes out the top.

I masturbate every night.

by Joetherealone September 29, 2021

Masturbate

Let’s face it. You’re in the 6th or 7th grade and you were asked during truth or dare if you masturbate and decided to look it up on Urban Dictionary to save yourself the embarrassment of not knowing what it means. Well here’s the definition: “To stimulate the genitals for a jolt of pleasure (orgasm).”

Friend one: Truth or Dare
Friend two: Truth
Friend one: Do you masturbate?
Friend two: Yes
Friend one: Lol that’s so weird
Friend two: *Looks it up on Urban Dictionary that night to save themselves to embarrassment of not knowing what it means*

by You don’t know me irl lol May 7, 2022

Canadian Masturbation

Masturbation but Canadian, much like Balkan rage.

Guy 1: "Yo Eric just did Canadian Masturbation!!!"
Guy 2: "Oh yeah, he's from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, right?"
Guy 3: "That's why its Canadian masturbation and not normal masturbation!"

by Jonathan Werd December 23, 2024