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a "Johnson" answer

When asked a question (any question) to which one thinks you know the answer, the verb to "Johnson" is to waffle, procrastinate and create sufficient bluster so as to fool, create absolute confusion and go off on a tangent, leaving the questioning party stunned and bemused.

To hide your absolute incompetence, or unpreparedness, or lack of understanding/comprehension by spouting totally irrelevant bullshit, including latin or greek which nobody understands, as an answer to a valid and simple question. When said with the unsolicited self-confidence of an expensive Conservative-funded public school education, the "Johnson" answer can be pulled from the bag in absolutely any circumstance.
I asked Boris what he'd like for dinner last night, and i got such a "Johnson" answer, i couldn't remember my name and i'd lost 25 minutes of my life. I felt like i'd been hit by a fucking bus. I do vaguely remember him spouting some shit about the Bermuda Triangle and what happened to Michael Jackson. I won't be doing that again.
by dying_fish September 20, 2020
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Pull A John Edwards

1) To cheat at something. Maybe a video game, Spades, a card game, or a race.

2) To bang another lady while your rightfully married partner is unable to react to the situation, for whatever reason.

3) To try to do something great for the public to hide how big of a jerk you are at the personal level.
1) "Quit looking at the other side of my Yu-Gi-Oh cards, you dip-shit! If you pull a John Edwards on me like that again, I'll burn your entire collection in the back-yard!"

2) Jessica Simpson's boyfriend had to pull a John Edwards on her in her own home! He was caught banging a chick on top her bed! As if she had enough to be upset about! She's Jessica Simpson! Her life has been dropped on shit creek without a paddle!

3) The stupid man is trying to run for Vice President. Even know he cheated on his wife who has breast cancer, he still thinks he has what it takes to become a figure for this country. Encourage people to be stupid and do things wrong. We're not going to let John Edwards pull himself at us again!
by hekifier March 28, 2009
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Related Words
a joke a jimmy a joey a jake A JON A Jacob a "J" a jason A Jeffreys a-jism

Pulling a jens

waiting 2 hours after your mate fucks a chick just to suck out his cum
You're pulling a jens mate, I just fucked this chick 2 hours before...
by pullinajens September 5, 2016
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Pull a Jeffrey Dahmer

Pulling a Jeffrey Dahmer,” is when someone cannibalizes or eats a another humans flesh. First made famous by Kesha’s song “Cannibal,” Jeffrey Dahmer was an American Serial killer who was known for killing his victims and then eating there flesh.
Yeah, I’ll pull a Jeffrey Dahmer.

Or
I’m so hungry I could pull a Jeffrey Dahmer.
by Urmomkindasucksngl July 4, 2021
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A phrase used among Muslims, typically used as a means of derailing a conversation when one person says something particularly hurtful or annoying to the other.
Fatima: Mohammed, why do you sound like a retard whenever you speak?
Mohammed: there's a jinn up your mom's ass.
by mynoduesp2303 November 6, 2018
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put a jihad

Putting a jihad on someone means, putting up a revenge, a mission to destroy them.... Came from the movie "Team america, world police"
k; sup Jimmy, what's bragging your ass
m; nuttin much, chillin, just that dudeass bitch Mike came over the other day and knocked the shit out of my stereo recorder.
k; whatcha gona do about it m?
m; hell, since you asked, I'm gonna put a jihad on'im.
k; Hells yea bitch, dat's what I'm talkin' about!

Later that day, M smoked Mike's ass, Mike never came out of the hospital again
by Matija April 30, 2006
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Danning a joke

After a joke has run its course, a certain person continues to tell jokes similar or realting to the already not funny joke, thus pissing everyone else off.
After Karen was done danning a joke, every one slapped her and walked away.
by schlogden February 19, 2008
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