Optical Assault

When someone meat gazes the hell out of you.

You: I was taking a shower after working out at the gym the other day and this dude kept staring at my package.

Friend: Damn, you were the victim of an optical assault!

by Herbalicious September 28, 2008

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optics

Usually, in a mainstream or social media context, jargon to describe the way in which an event or process will be perceived. Often used with other political jargon - notably virtual signalling, where the "signal" is intended to generate a specific and ideally positive public association ("good optics").

Shell Exec (1): "We've just made £8 billion in profits from selling super-priced oil, and the northern hemisphere is heating up like crazy. We need to soften the optics. How about we chuck a few million quid at those desperate muppets at British Cycling?! Worth a shot?"
Shell Exec (2): "Blatant virtue signalling - you never fail Hank - I think that could be the most transparent bit of greenwashing in history! But those lycra boys will never buy it..."
British Cycling official: "wow, thanks, guys; we always knew the oil industry was really nice."

by Happydayseveryday November 3, 2022

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Optical allusion titties

When titties look bigger than they really are. Most often due to the manner in which the titties are dressed/displayed.

Dude, i was so bummed when she took her shirt off, total optical allusion titties, they were tiny.

"yeah, there not that big, there optical allusion titties" - Mello

by T-sett September 22, 2009

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Nigga Optics

Nigga Optics is a technology developped by Talon Industries that does recognize people of color!!!

Didn't you see that black person? No! Well my friend, you're in need of Nigga Optics!!!"

Thanks to Nigga Optics these store slide doors automatically open when a black person tries to enter the store!!!

by TaLoN.NL December 15, 2019

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