Life Insurance

The reason why people kill their spouses

Life Insurance

by UltimateDoge November 11, 2022

insurance wipe

The action of wiping after a clean poop thus insuring yourself of a clean balloon knot.

Sam: "Man i just wasted four squares of toilet paper!"
Devin: "What do you mean?"
Sam: "There was no poop on the toilet paper after I wiped."
Devin: "Well, then consider it an insurance wipe, you can never be too safe!"

by Bill Lowbiter March 2, 2014

Locker Insurance

Insurance Seniors sell to freshman to "Insure" they won't get shoved in their lockers

"What does Locker Insurance do?"
"Here I'll show you!"

by sjp092 November 19, 2009

tilt insurance

When you know the action you are about to take is wrong, but you have to do it anyway because if you would have been right the result is much, much worse than if you were not.

I called the bet on the river with my flush even though the board had paired and there was a bet/raise to me. I had to pay my tilt insurance because if I lost this pot by folding to a worse hand I would have killed myself

by In honor of Leo Doc October 31, 2011

Food insurance

Food insurance is a second meal ordered at the same time as your original meal. It is used as insurance in case you are still hungry. Not to be confused with a side order.

Chris got the Mac and cheese platter as food insurance. He is never sure if the spaghetti pizza will be enough.

by abeanpie December 22, 2017

Car Insurance

When you have sex in a driverless car on the highway. Hope you enjoyed it, It'll probably be the end.

We really tested out our car insurance last night, didn't we, sis?

by Condomant May 25, 2023

memory insurance

A method of writing something down before you forget, whether on a piece of paper or on your arm or hand. May also include calling your own phone and leaving yourself a voice message, or emailing yourself. Basically a self-reminder.

Roommate 1: Can you give me a ride to the airport on Friday? My flight leaves at 6.
Roommate 2: Yeah hold on a sec, I'm gonna write that on a sticky note, just for memory insurance.

by ambermonk May 12, 2011