Do I want a bag

So you buy like... 2 weeks of shopping
You go to the checkout, And someone says "Do you want a bag"
DO I WANT A BAG?
OF COURSE I FUCKING DO
I AINT A GREEK GOD YOU KNOW WITH A MILLION FUCKING ARMS
I AINT AINT GONNA CARRY IT ON MY FUCKING BACK AM I.
OF COURSE I NEED A FUCKING BAG
CARRYING 2 PINTS OF MILK ON MY ARMS
2 FUCKING BAGS OF CRIPS
FUCKING 3 LAMB CHOPS
2 CHICKENS
3 BEEF
COURSE I NEED A BAG.
WHAT YOU THINK IM GONNA FUCKING DO? JUDGGLE THE CUNTS? I DONT THINK SO.

"Do I want a bag? Of Course I fucking do!"

by Zoe Flemming January 20, 2021

Parents get to do whatever they want

Also, if they have kids wrongdoing is less bad. They can always just do what Kristi Noem did after murdering a puppy "I have kids! But I have kids though so you can't destroy my life without destroying their's top right?"

Hym "Well I told you it wouldn't only be the criminals didn't I? So I guess someone else's daughter has to die because it's not super important the schizophrenia isn't real and it's just a thing Sam Sedar and, more broadly, YouTube is doing to people. And yes I put a buffer between me and the rest of you because you are stupid and crazy and think they your kids = you doing whatever the fuck you want, upto on including abandoning reason and manufacturing a mental illness and it LOOKS LIKE YOU MADE LIAM PAYNE JUMP OFF A BUILDING TRYING TO KILL ME. I forgot that parents get to do whatever they want. I do not need to sacrifice myself for your kids. You've quoted everything I've written back to me a dozen times already except you keep omitting the part where I said that you can contact me by way of making a video illiciting me to come forward by name. Now, Sam Sedar apparently has a direct feed and can repeat the things I say aloud in my studio apartment live on his show. You need to get the show on the road here. Why they fuck are you trying to drag this out if not explicitly to torture me? 'But MY KIDS!! MY KIIIDS!!!' They wail. But I'm not just going to leave and ignore the fact I'm stalked, harassed, and harvested for labour. I'm not being a slave to your kids you freak. I'm letting you do what you're doing here. Stop trying to take my freedom away or I will take one of your kids away."

by Hym Iam October 19, 2025

Do you want a cookie?

When you or someone else makes a claim of doing something that they clearly think is cool or clever and deserving of praise, but did so out-of-the-blue when nobody asked and it isn't really that cool or clever, then the appropriate response is to ask them 'if they want a cookie?' as a just reward for their deed.

Rwo friends watching a murder mystery show:
Claimant: I totally knew he was the killer like 20 mins ago..
Responder: Do you want a cookie?

by Thou Art That November 22, 2024

Do you want a cookie

When an asshole/piece of shit thinks he did something very admirable and he keeps being annoying about it. This response is used to display the emotion of annoyance and basically saying "do you want to be rewarded fucker"

Jack: Hahaha, I scored higher on this test than you.
John: Okay bitch, do you want a cookie or something

by Pipopaido December 25, 2023

<.7.9.7.6>If I catch Myself Not DOing WHat I Want To Do, I WIll Kill You All <.7.9.7.6.>

<.7.9.7.6>If I catch Myself Not DOing WHat I Want To Do, I WIll Kill You All <.7.9.7.6.>

<.7.9.7.6>Es Tu Punteria Es Tu <.7.9.7.6.><.7.9.7.6>If I catch Myself Not DOing WHat I Want To Do, I WIll Kill You All <.7.9.7.6.>

by .0.7.9.7.1.5.3.7.4.6.5.9.7.3.4 May 7, 2025

do you want to dance on my cape

The act of dancing or jiggling on another persons floppy cape.

Dude she's such a slut, she asked "do you want to dance on my cape." And she totally said yes. What slut.

by I'm horny. April 17, 2014

If I can make you do what I want and get away with it, why should I not?

Empathy for one. In the absence of empathy, if the amount of energy takes for you to get me to do a thing supersedes the amount of energy required for the thing to be done then it wouldn't be practical for you to make me do the thing. Additionally, my awareness of my own mortality makes it impossible for me to be perpetually made to do thing because I can always just kill myself. It incentivizes harming you and the things you care about. It gives your enemies a de-facto ally. But it's intriguing that you think that there is only one reason...

JeerpJoop "If I can make you do what I want and get away with it, why should I not?"

Hym "Well, for starters, there's more than one reason. Secondly, you literally can't. You can only leverage (either) my desire to live against performing the act OR the hope that I may not have to continue doing it indefinitely. Which is how you get people to stay in your suffering cult. You leverage their desire to live and their hope that their suffering will end to get them to do what you want or behave how you want to behave. It's actually kind of illuminating to because if you're God rewards screwing people over then is it not evil? Sounds evil. It ties back into you not actually believing in God but rather believing that God is on your side and that it will forgive you if you do the opposite of what it said."

by Hym Iam November 8, 2023