Chris cullen dropped the bar of soap with full intentions of inviting another man to insert himself into his rectal cavity. Afterwards when realizing what he had done by purposely dropping the bar Chris whines “Why is it always me getting screwed”
by dic fast July 26, 2009
Get the Cullen mug.Edward Cullen is a Mary Sue written for the sole purpose of encouraging girls aged eleven to fifteen to give up hard earned pocket money to Summit Entertainment and Little Brown and Co. He drives the perfect car. He has the perfect hair. He has the perfect face. He has the perfect body. He is also blindingly white and ice cold, which somehow translates out to sexy.
Many adults claim his character makes a positive influence on girls, stating that he encourages reading, and promotes themes like abstinence because he won't have sex with his girlfriend, Bella. However, they neglect to mention that he sneaks into a girl’s room without permission to watch her sleep, breaks down her car so she can’t see her best friend, forces his family to move away without saying goodbye to Bella in order to control her grieving process, and generally acts as a model of a controlling, abusive boyfriend. His behavior is excused, because fans of Twilight, the series he more or less stars in, claim he was doing it all “for Bella’s protection” or “because he loves her.”
Edward is a vampire with barely any of the consequences, and several added perks. When he goes out in sunlight, all he does is sparkle. He isn’t affected by crosses, or holy water. He can have children with humans. He’s super strong and super fast, and he reads minds.
All in all, he's a fictional character who provides girls with the perfect, abusive bad boy.
Many adults claim his character makes a positive influence on girls, stating that he encourages reading, and promotes themes like abstinence because he won't have sex with his girlfriend, Bella. However, they neglect to mention that he sneaks into a girl’s room without permission to watch her sleep, breaks down her car so she can’t see her best friend, forces his family to move away without saying goodbye to Bella in order to control her grieving process, and generally acts as a model of a controlling, abusive boyfriend. His behavior is excused, because fans of Twilight, the series he more or less stars in, claim he was doing it all “for Bella’s protection” or “because he loves her.”
Edward is a vampire with barely any of the consequences, and several added perks. When he goes out in sunlight, all he does is sparkle. He isn’t affected by crosses, or holy water. He can have children with humans. He’s super strong and super fast, and he reads minds.
All in all, he's a fictional character who provides girls with the perfect, abusive bad boy.
Hey, what are all those eleven year old girls shrieking about?
They're discussing Edward Cullen. They'll outgrow guys like him in a few years . . . I hope.
They're discussing Edward Cullen. They'll outgrow guys like him in a few years . . . I hope.
by anti twihard April 10, 2009
Get the edward cullen mug.A central character in Breaking Dawn, Renesmee Cullen is the ultimate mary sue baby. She's gorgeous, everyone loves her and she stops the big fight. She's really quite the disgrace.
Full Name: Renesmee "Nessie" Carlie Cullen. ....Really? RENESMEE?
Full Name: Renesmee "Nessie" Carlie Cullen. ....Really? RENESMEE?
Renesmee Cullen: Let me touch your forehead.
The Volturi: Oh ok, we won't kill you now because you are so perfect.
The Volturi: Oh ok, we won't kill you now because you are so perfect.
by KooChan February 14, 2009
Get the Renesmee Cullen mug.97 year old pedophile who stalks underage girls while they sleep, not to mention the cannibalistic fetish of suckin their blood out from a fresh wound.
by thisisit December 28, 2008
Get the Edward Cullen mug.Here are the massive flaws of the vampire, Edward, in Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series. And yes. I hate the book. Completely stupid thing to fill your minds up with.
1. He's so darn overprotective of Bella that sometimes i want to strangle him. "I won't let you go over the the werewolf pack cuz you might get hurt by the other guy who loves you." Completely valid reason, Edward.
2. EDWARD'S FRICKEN INK ON PAPER, GIRLS, YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY TELL ME HE'S GORGOUS. NO!!! DON'T DROOL ON YOUR SO-CALLED "BIBLE" OVER A COUPLE OF INK SPLOTS! AGH, THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!
3. He hates Jacob. Well, i hate Jacob, too, but still. I thought he was PERFECTION, girls, so he can't hate anybody!!! For a couple of reaons: 1, Jacob's in love with Bella..(i thought jacob had better taste than BELLA...?) I don't blame Eddy for that. Okay, secondly, he's jealous. WHAT'S THAT, DROOLING FANGIRLS!? I THOUGHT HE WAS "PERFECTION"!!! And thirdly, he hates werewolves because he's predejuced. OMG! LOOKS LIKE EDWARD ISN'T PERFECTION!!! who knew?
1. He's so darn overprotective of Bella that sometimes i want to strangle him. "I won't let you go over the the werewolf pack cuz you might get hurt by the other guy who loves you." Completely valid reason, Edward.
2. EDWARD'S FRICKEN INK ON PAPER, GIRLS, YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY TELL ME HE'S GORGOUS. NO!!! DON'T DROOL ON YOUR SO-CALLED "BIBLE" OVER A COUPLE OF INK SPLOTS! AGH, THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!
3. He hates Jacob. Well, i hate Jacob, too, but still. I thought he was PERFECTION, girls, so he can't hate anybody!!! For a couple of reaons: 1, Jacob's in love with Bella..(i thought jacob had better taste than BELLA...?) I don't blame Eddy for that. Okay, secondly, he's jealous. WHAT'S THAT, DROOLING FANGIRLS!? I THOUGHT HE WAS "PERFECTION"!!! And thirdly, he hates werewolves because he's predejuced. OMG! LOOKS LIKE EDWARD ISN'T PERFECTION!!! who knew?
Me: "I think the books are addicting, but lacking alot. For example, look at Edward!! Completely boring. I perfer Carlisle to Eddy.
Drooling Fangirl #1(completely ignoring me): No! I <3 Edward!! He's mine!
Drooling Fangirl #2 (Tearing at Fangirl #1's I <3 Edward cullen t-shirt): Whatever! I read the book first! I get edward.
Me: HE'S FRICKEN INKSPLOTS, WHAT DON'T YOU GET ABOUT THAT?!?!?
Drooling Fangirl #1(completely ignoring me): No! I <3 Edward!! He's mine!
Drooling Fangirl #2 (Tearing at Fangirl #1's I <3 Edward cullen t-shirt): Whatever! I read the book first! I get edward.
Me: HE'S FRICKEN INKSPLOTS, WHAT DON'T YOU GET ABOUT THAT?!?!?
by classicalmusicgurl December 23, 2008
Get the Edward Cullen mug.A man who is a bad mutha. Most likely a ninja or some other bad ass profession, such as porn star, elected official, super-athlete or even C.E.O. of your mom. Disclaimer: Will fornicate with any friends hot mom with out regret. A cullen is a cold blooded panty bandit with the future in his eyes and fire spewing from his mouth.
A cullen usually makes good money, certainly more than you, yet your not exactly sure how. An enigma will spontaneously combust if ever to come into contact with a cullen.
A cullen can be found in Public places such as cities, towns, or Canadian territories. A cullen can also be found in the isolation of the deep wild where he may be pondering ponderous thoughts of the very existence of time and space which would cause lesser men's heads to implode in the manner of a rather disturbing sucking sound.
I digress explaining a cullen any further would simply take away from the only pleasure you will know for the next 20 minutes. The basking in of the the thought of the very essence that is. A cullen.
A cullen usually makes good money, certainly more than you, yet your not exactly sure how. An enigma will spontaneously combust if ever to come into contact with a cullen.
A cullen can be found in Public places such as cities, towns, or Canadian territories. A cullen can also be found in the isolation of the deep wild where he may be pondering ponderous thoughts of the very existence of time and space which would cause lesser men's heads to implode in the manner of a rather disturbing sucking sound.
I digress explaining a cullen any further would simply take away from the only pleasure you will know for the next 20 minutes. The basking in of the the thought of the very essence that is. A cullen.
Woman A: Hey do you see that hot guy walking this way?
Woman B: OMG he just checked you out.
Woman A: Umm I think I'm pregnant.
Woman B: Wow I think that was a cullen. Your such a bitch.
Woman B: OMG he just checked you out.
Woman A: Umm I think I'm pregnant.
Woman B: Wow I think that was a cullen. Your such a bitch.
by cock craver April 15, 2013
Get the cullen mug.A vampire that many girls see as the perfect guy. GET A LIFE, hes from a fiction book. and besides, if a vampire named edward does turn up one day, were guna blow the livin sh*t outa him. not addore him for feeding off livestock.
by wheredtheygo October 28, 2008
Get the Edward Cullen mug.