trumpet

An musical instrument played by one who will never ever have sex. Only those who leave for a different instrument can survive its curse. T-riffic - I'm screwed

Bobby Lee As Kim Jong Il: "Hey - I hear you're a celibate"
Kim Jong Il: "No, but i play trumpet"
BLAKJI: "Eh - close enough

by Trump-me September 19, 2003

trumpeting

When a bald, old man perversely propositions someone younger than him, usually male, to engage in sexual musical acts.

"Bruv, that Toni tried trumpeting on me again last night!"

"Yeh stay well away from him, he's proper sketchy"

by Barry-Scott October 16, 2013

trumpet

A trumpet is a cone-shaped joint.

Swing me the trumpet, so I can play a tune.

by Diego November 28, 2003

trumpet

Lousy pieces of shit made from brass, usually played by dumb asses who have no idea on how play, they're hated by every section. Usually classified as the utterly overrated section with shitty players. Famous trumpeters include douche bags such as Donald Trump.

Joe: God, I shouldn't have chosen trumpet.

James: Yeah, trombones are making us look like oboes.

by Semyour Butts April 13, 2011

Trumpet

A brass instrument that is only played by either complete douchebags who think they have a huge musical talent or talentless people who just want to be in band. The douchebags only wear Abercrombie shirts and gay shorts, and walk the halls singing double octave scales thinking everybody likes them.

"The trumpet is the most important instrument in the band!"
"No, it's just the gayest."

by pezbrain July 02, 2009

but trumpet

to but trumpet someone is to blow through their anus and giv them a hand job at the same time, may also be said "to trumpet someone"

"that dirty bastard tried to give me a but trumpet"

by retardedgoatfucker January 10, 2008

trumpet

A simultaneous rim job and handjob.

J: Did you go home with that guy last night?

M: Yeah.

J: Did you fuck him?

M: No, but my ass is still tingling from the trumpet he gave me.

by JohnnyAZ May 23, 2006