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Spectrum Internet

You want to never access the internet again? You want to get an F on your essay because your internet’s down? Look no further, it’s fucking Spectrum Internet.
We at spectrum fucking dare you to try to connect to the internet. We bet our fucking business you won’t. Spectrum internet is the fucking worst, prove us wrong.
by iwanttocommitneckrope October 29, 2018
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algerian internet

Its like a turtle but slower and pain in the ass to use it
an american:"I CAN ONLY AFFORD 15MGS THAT SLOW A TURTLE"an algerian:"wait...you guys pay for 15mgs and get 15mgs.. man the algerian internet is bad as fuck" and yes this is true story
by the falafel man January 9, 2021
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internet historian

a fine historian of notable events on the internet or relating to internet culture. the events may or may not relate to actual events that happened in relation to the event online.
"have you listened to todd talk about the fall of dashcon?"
"yeah, that guy is a total internet historian"
by Mr.DoctorSir December 4, 2017
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Secret Internet Fatty

Usually known by the acronym SIF, a secret internet fatty posts photographs of themselves on social networking sites that are purposely shot so as to disguise their obesity. Classic examples usually include a combination of:

- close-up head or face shots

- extremely high or overhead camera angles

- low-key lighting and possibly actual image manipulation.

Women often show cleavage, or employ boobnosis, as a secondary deception.

Since most men have booblevision to begin with, they rarely pause to consider that the SIF in question could shrink one to three WHOLE bra cup sizes if they ever lost the excess fat. Obviously going from a D cup to an A cup would render the formerly outstanding bust line moot.

(In this same vein, a woman writer once quipped, "When I'm a size six, I can get into my favorite jeans. When I'm a size fourteen, I finally have the bust line that I always wanted in high school.") 'Nuff said?

Secret internet fatties come in two basic groups: those who want to lose weight, and those who won't do what is necessary to lose weight (choosing instead to refer to themselves by outrageous euphemisms such as: "fluffy", "juicy", "big boned", "pleasingly plump", or "BBW". Star Jones is their poster child).

To the first group, I would suggest having your thyroid gland checked out by a medical doctor who knows something about nutrition and does not dismiss naturopathic remedies. Eat enough medium to low calorie foods to feel full, and have a few colonics to insure proper nutrient absorption. If you have been genetically hosed by your family's DNA, you're going to have to put extra effort into whatever you do. Surgery may be an option, but there is NO substitute for regular exercise.

To the second group I ask, who do you think you are fooling? As Jeff Foxworthy observed about large women wearing Spandex, "If your bottom looks like two raccoons wrestling around in a fifty pound sack of feed, you are NOT 'juicy'!"
>>>>>

SexyLexie is a self-proclaimed "MySpace hottie" but Kip Dynamite wants a full body shot to prove she's not just another secret internet fatty with delusions of grandeur.
by One Stark Reality September 19, 2009
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internet atheist

People who say that they are the minority yet if you say your a Christian they treat you so horribly and become so irrational of reason that they themselves become the very thing they despise. Internet Atheism is like a westboro baptist church, they believe that if you believe in god, than you should be oppressed and exterminated until the religous person, usually Christian, only has the few cubic centimeters in his skull to think freely. These are the scum, they hate Christians because they think that they are mass murderers, let alone do they realize all the atrocities commited in the name of atheism I.E. Soviet Union, China. They think they are intellectually enlightened because there fat little shits that want to feel special.
Internet Atheist are just as militant as islamic extremist
by Rosy O donnel October 24, 2015
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Internetainment

Entertainment via Internet. This word was created by two Youtubers, Rhett and Link, who defined themselves as internetainers.
Rhett and Link, iJustine and MysteryGuitarMan are great internetainers; they make good internetainment!
by Steph-9 November 7, 2011
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