Life Insurance

The reason why people kill their spouses
Life Insurance
by UltimateDoge November 11, 2022
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Car Insurance

When you have sex in a driverless car on the highway. Hope you enjoyed it, It'll probably be the end.
We really tested out our car insurance last night, didn't we, sis?
by Condomant May 25, 2023
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comeback insurance

The act of leaving something at someone's else residence in order to have an excuse to come back over.
She left her toothbrush at my house last night as comeback insurance.
by Calypso27 November 08, 2017
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fire insurance

As in hellfire. When a wealthy individual, having rapaciously climbed the ladders of success to get to the top, feels pangs of guilt for the unethical deeds done along the way to get there. Fearing a legacy of scorn, or, if a believer, an eternity of damnation, he or she takes out "fire insurance" in the form of donations to charity and / or public displays of contrition at speaking events, etc.
Marco: Looks like another Ted Talk from a dot com billionaire decrying capitalism—a little fire insurance never hurt, did it?

Polo: Yeah, that person also just had a new building named after her downtown. It's a homeless shelter. The employees of the old companies she destroyed live there now.
by Helvidius October 20, 2019
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memory insurance

A method of writing something down before you forget, whether on a piece of paper or on your arm or hand. May also include calling your own phone and leaving yourself a voice message, or emailing yourself. Basically a self-reminder.
Roommate 1: Can you give me a ride to the airport on Friday? My flight leaves at 6.
Roommate 2: Yeah hold on a sec, I'm gonna write that on a sticky note, just for memory insurance.
by ambermonk April 22, 2011
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insurance rule

One of those seemingly ridiculous rules in sports or other public institutions that exist only to cover the asses of the insurance companies.
I can't believe Rick got a suspension for taking his mask off before leaving the ice - it must be an insurance rule.
by rentropy December 27, 2008
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insurance wipe

The action of wiping after a clean poop thus insuring yourself of a clean balloon knot.
Sam: "Man i just wasted four squares of toilet paper!"
Devin: "What do you mean?"
Sam: "There was no poop on the toilet paper after I wiped."
Devin: "Well, then consider it an insurance wipe, you can never be too safe!"
by Bill Lowbiter February 24, 2014
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