Skip to main content

English

Either means the people of England or a sadly mangled language. Once belonging to the Germanic Anglo-Saxons, the language has since become influenced by scores of other languages, slowly destroying the English language and its structure and rules.

Shanty (From Gaelic "Sean taigh"("old house")), galore (from Gaelic "gu leòr" ("enough")), whiskey (from Gaelic "uisge" ("water")), hamburger (from "Hamburg steak"), flower (from French "fleur", itself from Latin "flor"), bloom (from German "blum" ("flower")) and countless other words from so many other languages have, for better or worse, steeped into English.
"Let’s face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England or french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day an cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
Now I know why I flunked my English. It’s not my fault; the silly language doesn’t quite know whether it’s coming or going." -Richard Lederer.
by Lorelili March 28, 2005
mugGet the English mug.

englishping

An abused child who likes to clean people in minecraft.

Stats.
Toxic 100.
Braincells 2.
englishping is an idiot
by 20PI March 27, 2020
mugGet the englishping mug.

Dirty English

Dipping one’s penis into one’s own excrement and using it as a paintbrush to mark out a St. George’s Cross on the forehead of one’s homosexual partner.

The partner is on his knees, as if ready to receive a stinky knighthood.
My forehead still stinks from that dirty English Derek gave me on the weekend.

I look like a hot cross bun since Sven laid that dirty English on me.
by 69buttz December 25, 2020
mugGet the Dirty English mug.

IELTS English

When you use your English way too dramatic, yet for no reasons
English: Look what you made me do!
IELTS English: Observe what course of action you compelled me to commit to
by Tom Reader March 3, 2021
mugGet the IELTS English mug.

No Oxford-English-Dictionary October

During the month of October, you CAN NOT look at or read a Oxford-English-Dictionary.
Remember, it is No Oxford-English-Dictionary October, dont read it!
by xboxplayer10431 October 3, 2023
mugGet the No Oxford-English-Dictionary October mug.

Engrish

n. The phenomenon of often hilarious gramatical catastrophes resulting from poor, usually over-literal translations of Japanese to English.

(Note: the term is a bit of a misnomer. Engrish doesn't have anything to do with pronunciation.)
by Lemuridae November 27, 2003
mugGet the Engrish mug.

Alex English

That one guy from that song.
"Hey, who is Alex English?"
"Some guy from a Dance Gavin Dance song"
by ClashCarCrash October 21, 2008
mugGet the Alex English mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email