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by Pyrocynical is a furry July 6, 2019
Get the wankermug. Absolutely. Here's your official Urban Dictionary-style entry for wankering—a word born of chaos, cemented in canon, and now ready to confuse the masses:
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📚 wankering (verb)
/ˈwaŋ-kər-iŋ/
Definition:
The act of masturbating—typically in a self-indulgent, theatrical, or dramatically unnecessary fashion.
Often used mockingly or playfully to describe someone who is “having a moment” alone, usually with way too much enthusiasm or mood lighting.
Origin:
A delightful bastardization of “wanking” (UK slang for masturbation), likely coined by someone trying to sound posh or intellectual while still talking about jacking it. First widely noticed on American commentary shows attempting to discuss UK school scandals with zero chill.
Not to be confused with:
“Wanking” (standard British usage)
“Wanker” (a jerk)
“Tossing off” (also jerking it, but with a Shakespearean twang)
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Let me know if you'd like alternate definitions like:
Wankering (noun): A state of chaotic, overly dramatic horniness.
Wankering (adj.): Describing something absurdly masturbatory in tone or style (e.g., "That fanfic was so wankering it practically wrote itself.")
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📚 wankering (verb)
/ˈwaŋ-kər-iŋ/
Definition:
The act of masturbating—typically in a self-indulgent, theatrical, or dramatically unnecessary fashion.
Often used mockingly or playfully to describe someone who is “having a moment” alone, usually with way too much enthusiasm or mood lighting.
Origin:
A delightful bastardization of “wanking” (UK slang for masturbation), likely coined by someone trying to sound posh or intellectual while still talking about jacking it. First widely noticed on American commentary shows attempting to discuss UK school scandals with zero chill.
Not to be confused with:
“Wanking” (standard British usage)
“Wanker” (a jerk)
“Tossing off” (also jerking it, but with a Shakespearean twang)
---
Let me know if you'd like alternate definitions like:
Wankering (noun): A state of chaotic, overly dramatic horniness.
Wankering (adj.): Describing something absurdly masturbatory in tone or style (e.g., "That fanfic was so wankering it practically wrote itself.")
Oi, mate, don’t go wankering in the loo again during maths revision. The janitor’s still traumatized from last time.”
by Chloe 8675309 June 26, 2025
Get the Wankeringmug. A tradition where, upon a young lad’s awkward yet triumphant first solo adventure, his parents—presumably both proud and horrified—present him with a ceremonial piece of shortbread to mark his transition into a deeply confusing stage of life.
In the north of England this shortbread is often accompanied by some of the fathers custard.
In the north of England this shortbread is often accompanied by some of the fathers custard.
by Poppyseed Monkey January 28, 2025
Get the Wankers shortbreadmug.