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captain schultz

Borrowing from other Captain ranked negatives(see Captain Obvious and Captain Hindsight) a Captain Schultz is the douche canoe at the worst end of the dish it/take it spectrum. Usually running a joke/prank farther in the ground than acceptable to even the least socially adept individuals (Ex. Carrot Top, Jeff Foxworthy, or an adult with downs that has been telling the same knock knock joke for 27 years) upon having the same joke/prank pulled on him, stomps around throwing a bitch fit big enough to sap the fun out of any environment.

Usually when someone overreacts to something, the natural reaction is to do it more, not with this person, once you have viewed the sad state of affairs in the wake of their unrelenting diatribe, you call it a loss agree to never walk that forsaken path again.
Carl: You know how Randy thinks its still funny to hide people’s shoes?

Don: You didn’t…

Carl: I did, but I just moved them over a foot and put a towel over them.

Don: That explains it. You need to put the shoes back. He promoted himself to Captain Schultz over it. He smashed open the coffee maker looking for them.

Carl: If he just looks right next to where he put them he will…

Don: Not worth it, just return them, we’ll have someone else tell him they are back. Lets never speak of this again.
by Mxyzsptlk June 29, 2014
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Captain America

After you have had sex doggy style with your partner you pull out, cum in your hand, do Captain America's side flip and upon landing throw your sperm into your partners face. After this yell Justice as you take a proud super hero pose which is not to be interrupted due to the partners reaction.
G: yo what'd you do last night?
D: went to my girls house and pulled a Captain America on her.
by Dprice91 September 27, 2017
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Captain Morgan

When a lady is relaxing in a hot tub and strikes a Captain Morgan pose next to a jet.
by Anasexy Beaver Bitchens September 24, 2017
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Captain curious

A man who isn't sure of his sexuality quite yet and needs to get out in the world to figure himself out.
by kcbc April 26, 2012
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Captain Dangler

A slang word often used to reference to someone containing an abnormal or misshapen penis.
by chapsta July 6, 2007
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captain shiny

Person with a bald head that you can normally see yourself in. its kind of like having a mirror but its living.
TY: AHOY CAPTAIN SHINY!!!
Gary the bus driver: DAMN IT DONT CALL ME THAT.
TY: Anything you say shiny top.
(Ty walks away)
Gary: asshole.
by skaterboy December 30, 2007
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Captain Moonrays

A being from another world who slays women on a dailly basis.
To gain the title Captain Moonrays you will need to have had sex at least several hundred times.
Obama currently has the title of Captain Moonrays as he has slayed many women in his time.
by Captain Moonrays November 17, 2011
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