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Intellectual Masturbation

The act of thinking, discussing, and/or philosophizing to no one’s spiritual, mental, or physical benefit, but purely for the sake of one’s own pleasure, intellectual self-satisfaction, and/or pride.

Note: Not all intellectual and philosophical discussion is intellectual masturbation, it only falls under the definition when it doesn’t benefit those in engaged in it, only harms due to wasted time and an artificial satisfaction in one’s self.
I remember when all I would do was engage in intellectual masturbation on Discord. I would use fancy words and blabber all day about philosophy, without actually applying it in any way whatsoever. I just derived pleasure from hearing myself speak about such abstract and complex subjects. What a fool I was.
by Tea76Crumpets796 October 1, 2022
mugGet the Intellectual Masturbationmug.

Masturbate

What the fuck is wrong with you jackoffs get a girlfriend already
I masturbate because im lonely
by 5Skin not 4Skin January 9, 2020
mugGet the Masturbatemug.

masturbation

when you beat the absolute living shit out of your meat package so fucking hard, that a liquid located inside of your ballsack called "semen", "cum" or "jizz", rapidly shoots out of your penis hole at 800 miles an hour.

it can also lead to your girlfriend becoming pregnant and having children if shooting out your hot sticky jizz while your erect, fat, thick, juicy cock is located inside of her vagina/pussy.
(alone (masturbating))
guy: omagash im boutta cum a large quan-titty of kids after this daily and excessive masturbation

(with partner)
guy: oh my gosh im gonna shoot my hot cum inside of your pussy!!!!!!!11111
girl: shoot it inside of me daddy uwu
by Hypurrelet August 14, 2023
mugGet the masturbationmug.

To Masturbate

An attempt to pointlessly satisfy an irrational urge in the short term.

(where in the long term on further reflection you realise it to be truly unsatisfactory)
"Sometimes I try to masturbate a really long or difficult word into a sentence just to feel I'm smarter than I actually am!"
by anonymous January 14, 2021
mugGet the To Masturbatemug.

Audible Masturbation

Talking just to please yourself.
Twitter is a great place to see audible masturbation at work, Or a trump speech.
by Z_PW January 14, 2021
mugGet the Audible Masturbationmug.

Masturbating

Something you do when you need a quick fix because the real thing isn't available.
Jerry: Hey what are you up to?
Frank: I'm masturbating.
Jerry: Ok hit me up when your done.
by Jiggywithit455 June 12, 2022
mugGet the Masturbatingmug.

Third person masturbating

To pleasure oneself in a mirror to a picture of oneself.
I walked into the bathroom to see Chad watching himself in the mirror jerking off to a picture of himself.. he was third person masturbating
by Professional ego striker January 4, 2025
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