i am in constant agony, this is not a joke; please help me

I am in constant agony. My life is a mess. As a kid I had a natural aptitude for math and science, but I let it get to my head, ultimately ruining my possibility to go to college.

I wasted my life playing video games and watching the television; the natural talents I once had have apathied and worn away, leaving the one thing I was good at behind.

My life has been nothing but a fastly accelerating downward spiral and I have failed to provide anything of with to anyone.

Isaiah: Hey, Ed! Haven't seen you in a few years, how are you don't?

Me: I am in constant agony, this is not a joke; please help me.

Isaiah: ...
Me: ...
Isaiah: yeah, same.

by MrDrEdward October 31, 2021

Flag

Get the i am in constant agony, this is not a joke; please help me mug.

I don't know, probably something racist

A phrase you say when you can't remember what your shitty relative said at the family gathering.

Family member who's not racist- "What was Uncle Allen talking about at thanksgiving?"
me- "I don't know, probably something racist"

by philbobaggins May 27, 2018

Flag

Get the I don't know, probably something racist mug.

Orange ya glad I didn't say banana

Wow.. I’m lost for words, this tells a very interesting and tragic story. he loves the banana and apparently is addicted to banana, and in this world he’s in hates bananas. So the banana is considered the outcast item and anyone who uses it is treated harshly and as you can see he’s addicted to bananas which is the reason why he’s hated. It’s become a drug to him and he’s gone crazy, so crazy in fact he’s seeing ppl as fruit. It starts off with a knock knock joke that has no real punchline but its teasing you for the final reveal of the story, great power move from the writers. It ends off with him crazy a crazy mind set after he damaged his forehead and this orange he’s seeing (in a hospital) finishes the knock knock joke and he wakes up from the start repeating itself over and over. Revealing that the story is repeat and fail. Tragic but also very phenomenal story writing

Chris turned to an orange, man

Bro he smelled like bananas

But Orange ya glad I didn't say banana

by Broseph_the_weird_guy January 9, 2021

Flag