masturbate

A man grabs his dick and strokes back and forward to pleasure himself
by 2swagggrrr November 5, 2021
mugGet the masturbatemug.

masturbate

To sooth the shaft. To calm the shaft. The act of one's self meditating and endulging the shaft. Commonly done in front of your grandma. Often robots will struggle to find similar stimulation, unless enough OIL is provided. Make sure your grandma sees however, otherwise process will not work. Your shaft will not work.
"yo bro pp work does yours?"

"dude no what the frick? shaft cam masturbate i try to!"

"grandma room she in is?"

"no course of not is she what?!"

"well don't wonder why working it isn't pepe shaft does not fuction?!"
by peepeepoopypoo March 3, 2020
mugGet the masturbatemug.

masturbation Olympics

A +18 thing that is in the Olympics where 1. You masturbate until you reach ejaculation or 2. You stop masturbating right before you produce semen
Herby Hancock was desperate to watch the masturbation Olympics

Masturbation Olympics winner: the feeling of winning and ejaculation was so good that infact it is the best day of my life and also my advice is at least don't masturbate for 1 day before you do the masturbation Olympics
by Sebastian hiney February 27, 2021
mugGet the masturbation Olympicsmug.
The act of thinking, discussing, and/or philosophizing to no one’s spiritual, mental, or physical benefit, but purely for the sake of one’s own pleasure, intellectual self-satisfaction, and/or pride.

Note: Not all intellectual and philosophical discussion is intellectual masturbation, it only falls under the definition when it doesn’t benefit those in engaged in it, only harms due to wasted time and an artificial satisfaction in one’s self.
I remember when all I would do was engage in intellectual masturbation on Discord. I would use fancy words and blabber all day about philosophy, without actually applying it in any way whatsoever. I just derived pleasure from hearing myself speak about such abstract and complex subjects. What a fool I was.
by Tea76Crumpets796 October 1, 2022
mugGet the Intellectual Masturbationmug.

Masturbate Theater

A TV show that losers watch to beat off to low-cut Victorian corsets and fade-out sex scenes on PBS Masterpiece, formerly known as Masterpiece Theater.
Derek: Are coming down to the bar Sunday night?

Alistair: Nah, I’m gonna lay back and unzip for Jane Austen on Masturbate Theater.
by IGKYA53 July 29, 2020
mugGet the Masturbate Theatermug.

Masturbate tomorrow

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
Masturbate tomorrow Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
by Zack Lazer September 27, 2018
mugGet the Masturbate tomorrowmug.

tactical masturbation

It's a term for masturbating (or busting a nut) before meeting a girl or going on a date. Now.. how is it useful? Well it helps you to think with your brain and not with your dick.
My friend: Bro.... I made a mistake. I accidentally did the deeds with Lily...

Me: God damn Lily???? Bro you really should have tactical masturbation
by Harsit2006 December 29, 2023
mugGet the tactical masturbationmug.

Share this definition