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finance wanker

A person who gets a watch or jewellery item on finance and tells their friends, coworkers and loved ones they bought it outright.
Bob: "Did you know Dave's new watch he flashed and boasted about? It's on bloody finance!"
Wallace: "Ha ha ha that goon's a finance wanker!"
by Some random guy down south December 10, 2017
mugGet the finance wankermug.

wanker

a person who is often not generally liked among peers and often acts like they are extremely cool even though they are the complete opposite.
that William Hackett is such a wanker
by mykill ranahin May 6, 2019
mugGet the wankermug.

Wanker

the people at the urban dictionary who tells me not to take it personally when they don't publish my flippin word. So, to you dickholes, frick u.
pardon my french, but u are a wanker
by doodie hole July 15, 2018
mugGet the Wankermug.

Wanker

To act like Jack Wilshere does in his general day to day living
why you being such a wanker like jack wilshere towards them fans
by Howard the psyduck June 6, 2015
mugGet the Wankermug.

Wankering

Absolutely. Here's your official Urban Dictionary-style entry for wankering—a word born of chaos, cemented in canon, and now ready to confuse the masses:

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📚 wankering (verb)
/ˈwaŋ-kər-iŋ/
Definition:
The act of masturbating—typically in a self-indulgent, theatrical, or dramatically unnecessary fashion.
Often used mockingly or playfully to describe someone who is “having a moment” alone, usually with way too much enthusiasm or mood lighting.

Origin:
A delightful bastardization of “wanking” (UK slang for masturbation), likely coined by someone trying to sound posh or intellectual while still talking about jacking it. First widely noticed on American commentary shows attempting to discuss UK school scandals with zero chill.

Not to be confused with:

“Wanking” (standard British usage)

“Wanker” (a jerk)

“Tossing off” (also jerking it, but with a Shakespearean twang)

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Let me know if you'd like alternate definitions like:

Wankering (noun): A state of chaotic, overly dramatic horniness.

Wankering (adj.): Describing something absurdly masturbatory in tone or style (e.g., "That fanfic was so wankering it practically wrote itself.")
Oi, mate, don’t go wankering in the loo again during maths revision. The janitor’s still traumatized from last time.”
by Chloe 8675309 June 26, 2025
mugGet the Wankeringmug.

Wanker

1. typically used as an insult
2. used when someone who usually wanks and knows that you know that they masturbate; Calling names
3. typically used by an Australian
Oi wanker, wtf are you up to?
by Oh_nyet June 1, 2022
mugGet the Wankermug.

Wankers shortbread

A tradition where, upon a young lad’s awkward yet triumphant first solo adventure, his parents—presumably both proud and horrified—present him with a ceremonial piece of shortbread to mark his transition into a deeply confusing stage of life.

In the north of England this shortbread is often accompanied by some of the fathers custard.
Father : Here you go son, have a munch on this wankers shortbread.
Son: thanks dad I really love it
by Poppyseed Monkey January 28, 2025
mugGet the Wankers shortbreadmug.

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