This is why we can't have nice things

No matter how nice of a thing you have, no matter how hard you may try, someone will always find a way to fuck it up.

Josh: Hey bro can I borrow your phone?
Me: I dunno man, I just bought this. I don't even have a case on it yet!
Josh: Chill dude, I ain't gonna break it. It'll just take a second..
Me: Okay...
Josh:*Immediately drops it on the ground, denting the corner*
Me: God damn it Josh, this is why we can't have nice things.

by re3ja January 15, 2016

Ten Things I Hate About You

Perhaps the best re-invented Shakespeare play ever. The cutest, most heart-melting movie you will see. Was turned into a TV show that is about one sixbillionth as good as the original movie.

1: Ten Things I Hate About You is my favorite TV show!

2: Who raised you? The movie can kick your TV show's ass anyday

by plebingirlm December 09, 2010

This is why we can't have nice things

What a mother yells whenever something gets broke

*CRASH*
Kids (in sync of course): "I didn't do it!"
Mother: "THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!"

by SAHM May 03, 2013

That's why we can't have nice things

It's a statement a mom or dad would make, while exasperated with their child for having broken some household item. For instance, a mother buys a new small appliance for her kitchen, let's say its a stand mixer. The kids start playing with it and jam something in the blades and burn out the motor. Mom walks in and sees the mess and yells, "See! That's why we can't have nice things!"

It's a comment that is actually an irrational thing to say, but it's funny for that reason. A very "mom/dad" thing they would say in the heat of the moment.

"See! That's why we can't have nice things! Dad just bought this VCR, and you kids put a sandwich in it! Now it's broken!"

by RN-real-nerd. June 25, 2014

I can't do two things at once

A fact known to all men and universally discredited by women.

"The dog needs to go out, right away" she said, as he was balancing on the top of rung the ladder, not only changing the bulb but cradling the fragile glass globe. "And please take the towels out of the dryer, before they start to smell moldy."

"I can't do two things at once" he replied, but she could not hear him, polishing her nails, talking to her mother on the phone and finalizing the Etsy order for Kleenex box holders, reminding him... "I need you to tell me which of these patterns you prefer".

by Monkey's Dad August 30, 2023

dangly thing that swing in the back of my throat

it's uvula but cardi dropped out of school

The small piece of soft tissue dangling over the tongue is the dangly thing that swing in the back of my throat

by September 15, 2020

the only thing i know for real (is cum)

CONDOMS BROKEN
THE CUM GOES UNSPOKEN
IVE EVEN FORGOTTEN THE PLEASURE
I DONT KNOW WHY IT BROKE OR WHAT IS THE REASON
IM STANDING HERE EJACULATING

A DESOLATE HOLE
WITHOUT ANY TRACE
ITS ONLY THE HYMEN I FEEL
ITS ME THAT I SPITE AS I STAND UP AND THRUST
THE ONLY THING I KNOW FOR REAL

THERE WILL BE CUM SHED
THE MAN WITH A BIG DICK NODS HIS HEAD
THE ONLY FLESH LEFT
WILL GET TORN APART FROM MY PENIS
BECAUSE THE PENIS DOESNT GIVE BACK WHAT IT TAKES

OH NO THERE WILL BE CUM SHED
ITS THE ONLY THING IVE EVER KNOWN

LOSING MY VIRGINITY
WONDERING "HAVE I GONE PREGENANT"
TO FIND THE TRUTH I MUST CLIMB THE NINE MONTHS
LOOKING DOWNWARD FROM THIS DEADLY CUM AND NEVER REALIZING WHY I CUM

the only thing i know for real (is cum)

by iate7microwavetransformers May 13, 2022