disagreement masturbation

The act of listening and/or watching news media and opinions you disagree with to enjoy the fact that you disagree with it.
Sarah the atheist liberal enjoys listening to fundamentalist conservative Christian radio stations because she likes disagreement masturbation.
by qwartwater February 02, 2024
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must masturbate may

something that does not exist like your dad
Joe "When is must masturbate may?"
Jeff "When your dad comes back."
Joe cries
by IDK BUT YOUR MUM IS GAY November 21, 2022
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Intellectual Masturbation

The act of thinking, discussing, and/or philosophizing to no one’s spiritual, mental, or physical benefit, but purely for the sake of one’s own pleasure, intellectual self-satisfaction, and/or pride.

Note: Not all intellectual and philosophical discussion is intellectual masturbation, it only falls under the definition when it doesn’t benefit those in engaged in it, only harms due to wasted time and an artificial satisfaction in one’s self.
I remember when all I would do was engage in intellectual masturbation on Discord. I would use fancy words and blabber all day about philosophy, without actually applying it in any way whatsoever. I just derived pleasure from hearing myself speak about such abstract and complex subjects. What a fool I was.
by Tea76Crumpets796 October 01, 2022
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Intellectual Masturbation

i.e. this is when one derives sexual pleasure contemplating an object or subject, and/or overthinking something outwith their expertise resulting in grandiosity from confirmation bias
by BitchfinderGeneral March 06, 2024
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masturbation Legend

Someone who can masturbate secretly in public.
I'm a masturbation Legend because I got off in my CCD teacher's office.
by IDONTMIND April 14, 2016
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Masturbate Theater

A TV show that losers watch to beat off to low-cut Victorian corsets and fade-out sex scenes on PBS Masterpiece, formerly known as Masterpiece Theater.
Derek: Are coming down to the bar Sunday night?

Alistair: Nah, I’m gonna lay back and unzip for Jane Austen on Masturbate Theater.
by IGKYA53 July 29, 2020
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Chronic Masturbation

When you are a socially inep involuntarily celibate due to poor dating and social skills, and sees porn every day and leaving cum stains everywhere in your house nonstop, as a way to cope with loneliness. Never goes out, doesn't exercise nor does improve social skills, and yet this special type of breeds can usually be found moderating around Discord, Tumblr, and Reddit as power-hungry mods or working remotely in a part-time job as a twitter moderator.
Jerry never finds a way to prevent chronic masturbation. He clearly didn't recover after getting rejected by Stacy for not being himself a Chad, as he believes.
by TheKamikazeMonkeys February 28, 2023
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