by senorgibbi November 19, 2024
Get the Wanker Hag mug.A person wearing a Dry Robe for something other than its intended use, such as on the school run, watching outdoor sport events, or shopping in Waitrose.
Usually associated but not limited to middle-class white British women.
Usually associated but not limited to middle-class white British women.
“I love your new Dry Robe, Florence! Have you just been for a swim in the sea?”
“Oh gosh no, I’ve just dropped Harvey off for his Tennis lesson and now I’m off down to John Lewis”
*mutters* “ok, Dry Robe Wanker”
“Oh gosh no, I’ve just dropped Harvey off for his Tennis lesson and now I’m off down to John Lewis”
*mutters* “ok, Dry Robe Wanker”
by Smatch November 23, 2024
Get the Dry Robe Wanker mug.The dryrobe wanker (DRW) title is attributed to an individual who dons a dryrobe to project an image that they might partake in water sport related hobbies such as open water swimming, triathlon or paddling boarding. The unfortunate reality is in the majority of cases these caped crusaders live in land locked counties miles from a significant body of open water, and are more likely to be perusing the weekly deals in middle of Lidl. The predominant use for these quilted changing robes are more often than not either childcare related, or walking for their dog in it's colour matched dryrobe jacket. DRW evangelists ensure they conform to the pre-requisite outfit of beanie hat, DR and Crocs (usually in sport mode), with the ultra committed sporting a Volkswagen T series van with Dryrobe seatcovers. The less overt DRW is likely to favour the urban camo design to fly under the radar in public.
"Look Shazney, there's a pair of pink crocs walking themselves into Lidl '"
"Holy shit Carmel, look closer, that's one of them dryrobe wanker in a camo cape, owners gone into full predator mode"
"Holy shit Carmel, look closer, that's one of them dryrobe wanker in a camo cape, owners gone into full predator mode"
by Gordon is a moron December 2, 2024
Get the dryrobe wanker mug.He was playing in the snow with his pinky-wanker out
by HURGALBURGAL January 11, 2025
Get the pinky-wanker mug.Absolutely. Here's your official Urban Dictionary-style entry for wankering—a word born of chaos, cemented in canon, and now ready to confuse the masses:
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📚 wankering (verb)
/ˈwaŋ-kər-iŋ/
Definition:
The act of masturbating—typically in a self-indulgent, theatrical, or dramatically unnecessary fashion.
Often used mockingly or playfully to describe someone who is “having a moment” alone, usually with way too much enthusiasm or mood lighting.
Origin:
A delightful bastardization of “wanking” (UK slang for masturbation), likely coined by someone trying to sound posh or intellectual while still talking about jacking it. First widely noticed on American commentary shows attempting to discuss UK school scandals with zero chill.
Not to be confused with:
“Wanking” (standard British usage)
“Wanker” (a jerk)
“Tossing off” (also jerking it, but with a Shakespearean twang)
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Let me know if you'd like alternate definitions like:
Wankering (noun): A state of chaotic, overly dramatic horniness.
Wankering (adj.): Describing something absurdly masturbatory in tone or style (e.g., "That fanfic was so wankering it practically wrote itself.")
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📚 wankering (verb)
/ˈwaŋ-kər-iŋ/
Definition:
The act of masturbating—typically in a self-indulgent, theatrical, or dramatically unnecessary fashion.
Often used mockingly or playfully to describe someone who is “having a moment” alone, usually with way too much enthusiasm or mood lighting.
Origin:
A delightful bastardization of “wanking” (UK slang for masturbation), likely coined by someone trying to sound posh or intellectual while still talking about jacking it. First widely noticed on American commentary shows attempting to discuss UK school scandals with zero chill.
Not to be confused with:
“Wanking” (standard British usage)
“Wanker” (a jerk)
“Tossing off” (also jerking it, but with a Shakespearean twang)
---
Let me know if you'd like alternate definitions like:
Wankering (noun): A state of chaotic, overly dramatic horniness.
Wankering (adj.): Describing something absurdly masturbatory in tone or style (e.g., "That fanfic was so wankering it practically wrote itself.")
Oi, mate, don’t go wankering in the loo again during maths revision. The janitor’s still traumatized from last time.”
by Chloe 8675309 June 26, 2025
Get the Wankering mug.West Greene Wanker is an intellectual prophet of goonings past. He graced the presence of West Greene Highschool, a small highschool located in East Tennessee. He remains a legend among the future disciples that attend the school. He goes by many a name including but not limited to:
West Greene Wanker, Bleacher Beater, Buffalo Beater, Bay Harbor Beater, Junior Jerker, Schooltime Stroker, Education Edger, and finally Chicken Choker. The UNEDGEucated authorities restrained his balls turning them bright blue and carting him off to ABIC for 5 whole business days(allegedly). The prophecy states that if he returns to West Greene then all shall bow and golf clap in his presence. The masturbation Messiah will return.
West Greene Wanker, Bleacher Beater, Buffalo Beater, Bay Harbor Beater, Junior Jerker, Schooltime Stroker, Education Edger, and finally Chicken Choker. The UNEDGEucated authorities restrained his balls turning them bright blue and carting him off to ABIC for 5 whole business days(allegedly). The prophecy states that if he returns to West Greene then all shall bow and golf clap in his presence. The masturbation Messiah will return.
by Goonciple September 8, 2025
Get the West Greene Wanker mug.The Legend of the West Greene Wanker
In the shadowed corridors of West Greene High, hidden in the hills of East Tennessee. one name lingers: the West Greene Wanker. A visionary of chaos and charisma, he roamed the bleachers and bathrooms where not but a few knew his name till that fabled day.
To the faculty, he was a disruption. To the students, a prophet. His titles were many, bestowed by those who witnessed his antics with awe and confusion: Bleacher Beater, Enrichment Edger, Gymnasium Gooner, and the ever-infamous Junior Jerker. No one knows what sparked the sudden urge of goonery that day, what mysterious force beheld upon him to unleash chaos right then and there.
His behavior defied explanation. The unedgeucated saw chaos, the enlightened saw performance art. The administration, lacking the Intelligence to decode his gospel of goonery, responded with drastic force. Confirmed by school officials, he was suspended for five days. The ABIC placement was pure fiction, spread by goonsciples hungry for myth, Though the official record shows just a five-day suspension, we the Goonsciples hold firm to the prophecy: he will not walk those halls again. His path now leads to the sacred solitude of homeschooling, where his goonery can ferment unbound.
It is said that if he returns, the lockers will rattle, the claps will rise, and the spirit of goonery will be reborn. Until then, his absence felt like a missing page in the yearbook.
In the shadowed corridors of West Greene High, hidden in the hills of East Tennessee. one name lingers: the West Greene Wanker. A visionary of chaos and charisma, he roamed the bleachers and bathrooms where not but a few knew his name till that fabled day.
To the faculty, he was a disruption. To the students, a prophet. His titles were many, bestowed by those who witnessed his antics with awe and confusion: Bleacher Beater, Enrichment Edger, Gymnasium Gooner, and the ever-infamous Junior Jerker. No one knows what sparked the sudden urge of goonery that day, what mysterious force beheld upon him to unleash chaos right then and there.
His behavior defied explanation. The unedgeucated saw chaos, the enlightened saw performance art. The administration, lacking the Intelligence to decode his gospel of goonery, responded with drastic force. Confirmed by school officials, he was suspended for five days. The ABIC placement was pure fiction, spread by goonsciples hungry for myth, Though the official record shows just a five-day suspension, we the Goonsciples hold firm to the prophecy: he will not walk those halls again. His path now leads to the sacred solitude of homeschooling, where his goonery can ferment unbound.
It is said that if he returns, the lockers will rattle, the claps will rise, and the spirit of goonery will be reborn. Until then, his absence felt like a missing page in the yearbook.
When we needed him most the The West Greene Wanker was gone, leaving only echoes of chaos and his despair, and goonery gone
By Goonciple IV, September 10, 2025
By Goonciple IV, September 10, 2025
by Goonsiple IV September 10, 2025
Get the The West Greene Wanker mug.