Any church that is homophobic, misogynist, and non-liturgical. Used almost exclusively to contrast conservative Christians from Progressive Christians.
"Your "priest" is a woman? That isn't a real church. "
"Stop being gay/trans and go to a real church, pronouns."
"I go to a real church. We follow The Bible™️."
"Stop being gay/trans and go to a real church, pronouns."
"I go to a real church. We follow The Bible™️."
by SapphicSelene April 5, 2024
Get the real church mug.Wow, yeah, that holy war isn't going great, is it? Looks like the Christians have lost their edge. What's the score now?
Hym "You hear about the church shooting? I didn't get an official score but I'll google it eventually... Wasn't I just saying it's been a minute? There might have been a superbowl parade one too."
by Hym Iam February 16, 2024
Get the Church Shooting mug.An interdenominational charismatic church headquartered in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. It is famous for its annual Easter Passion Plays which re-enact the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ. However, what makes this Church's plays famous in particular is that they are themed around famous movies and use characters from modern popular culture as stand-ins for the Biblical characters. It first gained attention in when YouTuber Jenny Nicholson posted a video where she reviews all of their Easter plays from 2008 to 2022.
I can't believe it but during the 2018 Church of the Rock Easter Passion Play, they literally crucified Iron Man while he was singing "tubthumping"! And they even mashed it up with "It's the end of the world as we know it"!
by EthanRosca February 27, 2024
Get the Church of the Rock mug.no lube, no protection, all night all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the church, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, he can top me is a saying that is usually uttered when someone or something is incredibly attractive, hot, or sexy.
no lube, no protection, all night all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the church, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, he can top me. - Twitter User
by TheTellerofTheTellings March 21, 2024
Get the no lube, no protection, all night all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the church, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, he can top me mug.All you have to do is whatever I say forever regardless of whether or not the direct or peripheral effect of doing that is bad and regardless of the outcome...
A muffin "The church can save this country!"
Hym "Then why is it not doing that?"
A muffin "Uh... Well, you're not doing what I say forever."
Hym "Right, but if you believe that then you should just be doing that anyway, right? Like, you could save the country... But you're not doing it so..."
A muffin "Withholding aid and resources as punishment for non-compliance is part of the religion I'm doing to you."
Hym "Yeah, ok, so it can't save the country... It's harming the country by withholding aid (arbitrarily) and you're offering to STOP DOING THE THING YOU'RE DOING... In exchange for forever-compliance?"
A muffin "Correct."
Hym "So, you're not saving the country. You're destroying the country until everyome does what you want?"
A muffin "Correct... BUT! I COULD be saving it instead... But I'm not going to unless you fuck your sister."
Hym "Then why is it not doing that?"
A muffin "Uh... Well, you're not doing what I say forever."
Hym "Right, but if you believe that then you should just be doing that anyway, right? Like, you could save the country... But you're not doing it so..."
A muffin "Withholding aid and resources as punishment for non-compliance is part of the religion I'm doing to you."
Hym "Yeah, ok, so it can't save the country... It's harming the country by withholding aid (arbitrarily) and you're offering to STOP DOING THE THING YOU'RE DOING... In exchange for forever-compliance?"
A muffin "Correct."
Hym "So, you're not saving the country. You're destroying the country until everyome does what you want?"
A muffin "Correct... BUT! I COULD be saving it instead... But I'm not going to unless you fuck your sister."
by Hym Iam March 29, 2024
Get the The church can save this country mug.1) A franchise, money-making machine based on god's word, the Bible.
Religious cults like Christianity, Catholicism, Buddhism, etc. each claim that god's word, which Bible is, belongs exclusively to them and their what they claim "god", when in reality re-ligious god is not different from an idol, material doll without any spiritual meaning. Word "religion" translated from Latin, literally means re-ligion, "upside down spirituality".
2) An institute of brainwashing and establishing control over the people. It's done by projecting slave-master relationship and strict power hierarchy, like god is ABOVE and people are his _slaves_. When in reality god is unknown. Unfathomable. He is NOT person or human-like. So it's not even "he". Somehow from this idea it's projected that even nominally government _serves_ the people, somehow government is corrupt and above people in reality, and that's totally fine, BECAUSE this is how GOD is.
That's why it's so important to support one-god religions and claim that religions with more than one god are outdated.
Religious cults like Christianity, Catholicism, Buddhism, etc. each claim that god's word, which Bible is, belongs exclusively to them and their what they claim "god", when in reality re-ligious god is not different from an idol, material doll without any spiritual meaning. Word "religion" translated from Latin, literally means re-ligion, "upside down spirituality".
2) An institute of brainwashing and establishing control over the people. It's done by projecting slave-master relationship and strict power hierarchy, like god is ABOVE and people are his _slaves_. When in reality god is unknown. Unfathomable. He is NOT person or human-like. So it's not even "he". Somehow from this idea it's projected that even nominally government _serves_ the people, somehow government is corrupt and above people in reality, and that's totally fine, BECAUSE this is how GOD is.
That's why it's so important to support one-god religions and claim that religions with more than one god are outdated.
1) Example:
- Hey, I want to make some money off people's fear of their inadequacy media instills in them.
- Why don't you invest in a Church, this business is greatly supported by the government in any country as it supplements the propaganda.
2) Example:
- Hey, do you go to Church?
- Of course I do, it makes me feel good feeding my trauma-bond it constantly deepens making me feel guilty and forgiven by the government at the same time.
- Hey, I want to make some money off people's fear of their inadequacy media instills in them.
- Why don't you invest in a Church, this business is greatly supported by the government in any country as it supplements the propaganda.
2) Example:
- Hey, do you go to Church?
- Of course I do, it makes me feel good feeding my trauma-bond it constantly deepens making me feel guilty and forgiven by the government at the same time.
by Nikita1998 June 18, 2022
Get the Church mug.To completely agree with someone, or to say that you are on the same page. Your agreeance is so strong, it’s religious.
John: Yo, if that Mutha fucka don’t pay me tomorrow I’m gonna whoop his ass!
Sean: church, bro. Church.
Sean: church, bro. Church.
by Eggcleary June 27, 2022
Get the Church mug.