aural masturbation

When someone loves hearing the sound of their own voice, and that person's idea of a conversation is actually a soliloquy or monologue...and simply won't STFU.

Steve appeared to be blissful and aloof, oblivious to the bored and vexed faces of his companions, as he listened to the wall of sound exiting his mouth in yet another round of aural masturbation.

by MoGyver April 8, 2016

Audible Masturbation

Talking just to please yourself.

Twitter is a great place to see audible masturbation at work, Or a trump speech.

by Z_PW January 14, 2021

masturbated

fucking yourself

i masturbated yesterday and I came so much

by cummer5000 May 22, 2023

To Masturbate

An attempt to pointlessly satisfy an irrational urge in the short term.

(where in the long term on further reflection you realise it to be truly unsatisfactory)

"Sometimes I try to masturbate a really long or difficult word into a sentence just to feel I'm smarter than I actually am!"

by anonymous January 14, 2021

Masturbating

Something you do when you need a quick fix because the real thing isn't available.

Jerry: Hey what are you up to?
Frank: I'm masturbating.
Jerry: Ok hit me up when your done.

by Jiggywithit455 June 12, 2022

Third person masturbating

To pleasure oneself in a mirror to a picture of oneself.

I walked into the bathroom to see Chad watching himself in the mirror jerking off to a picture of himself.. he was third person masturbating

by Professional ego striker January 4, 2025

Multi-Masturbation March

A proposed internet challenge which takes place in the month of March. On the 1st, participants would wank one time, and on the 2nd, they would wank two times, multiplying the times they wanked the day before by two. They would go so on, until they wank over 1.07 billion times on March 31st.

A: "Man, my arm is so tired after Destroy Dick December..."
B: "Thought that was hard? Better get ready for Multi-Masturbation March."

by potatoman- August 31, 2025