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Table Abuser

A person who abuses their table. I am talking to you Robert. Yeah you you monster. #TableLivesMatter
Robert W. Coomer is a confirmed pedophile and table abuser. That's why we burned his house down.
by Rufus Redneck August 1, 2020
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smoking table

a place where friends come together to engage in deep conversation over a cig. it also typically involves family time. this event happens especially often at simmons college.
Guys, family time at the smoking table in five!
by ax3, cx2, k, m, s January 25, 2009
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table

A British person.

A funnier and less objectively agreed upon version of "brit", typically said with disdain (serious or joking). Can also relate to British mannerisms or objects (see example 3)

Originating from the public access show, A Little Sketchy, in which the fictional character, Johnny Table is an incredibly stereotypical British person.
EXAMPLE 1:

Snobbert: *proceeds to use British pronunciation*
Quimbly: "what made you this way?"
Snobbert: "to tell you the truth, I'm a table. *cries in British*

-A Little Sketchy Episode 12

EXAMPLE 2:

British Person (Table): "can I get a nice cup o' wa'er?
American: "What a table!"

EXAMPLE 3:

British Person (Table): "in my home across the pond, we eat crumpets"
American: "are those table foods?"
by ThePlaidLad May 5, 2024
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Where the table lands

“Where the table lands,” refers to allowing things to happen naturally and accepting the outcome, without trying to change it.
Him: Can we talk later?
Her: I’ll be back in about two hours.
Him: Ok, we’ll see where the table lands then.
by ETENKHF February 15, 2025
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Table

An object that can be sat on or devised by people
Owen sat in the table and divide it by Andrew
by Ikkki January 6, 2023
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Table Captain

THE SICK FUCK IN THIRD GRADE THAT BITCHED ME AROUND TO GET MY GOD DAMN CRAYONS.
im gonna beat the shit outta the table captain.
by That one taco June 18, 2016
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sex table

A table you have sex on
Girl: I wish I had a sex table
Guy: I have one. Wanna use it just me and u?
Girl: Of course I would!
by Anonymous-23 May 12, 2019
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