couch dolphin

1. (noun) A colloquial name for the Indo-Appalachian right-finned porpoise, usually found gesticulating betwixt couch cushions very racistly. Swims to the very far right and has a parasitic relationship with the “greatest” and whitest of sharks, when convenient.

2. (noun) A person who has intimate relations with an upholstered sitting apparatus, while they are watching p0rnpoise, because the concept of true human connection perplexes them.

Well… that Jim Dave Vance fellow turned out to be a real, self-described couch dolphin. Yikes. Is this why Cleveland had to get rid of Sea World?

by Judith Jetson Lightyear July 27, 2024

Loser Couch

A couch in which the losers at -insert video game you're playing here- are forced to sit while they wait to rejoin the next round of said game.

Lizzy, You are playing like you should be sitting on the loser couch with Blake!

by MoronicMaureen December 24, 2009

Abigail Couch

She’s a couch and has nice curly brown hair, Abby is a really sweet friend who likes to be sassy at the worst times and also is beautiful she always thinks that she annoys people but in reality everyone loves her. Anyone that’s her friend is lucky to know her.

Abigail Couch is a beautiful, sweet girl and anyone would be lucky to be friends with her

by Lukevader112 March 14, 2025

Golden Couch

1. Getting a bunch of your mates over and you get so blotto that everyone pisses on the couch.

2. A couch that someone has wet themselves on while crashing at yours.

1. Lets make a golden couch this weekend!

2.Hey guys, come round tonight and see my gomden couch.

by Meatlover42069 November 29, 2019

couch guru

A couch guru is an individual who lives on your couch and provides nuggets of wisdom, advice, and the dankest weed hook-ups. The couch guru sustains themselves by consuming Mountain Dew, Doritos and porn. Example: the guy on the couch from Half Baked.

My couch guru hooked me up with a new water bong and advised me on how to fix my relationship with my father.

by Colberttoldmeto August 23, 2016

couch arrest

When you are in a state that requires you to sleep on the couch it can be for a night a week or months. Couch arrest can happen in a relationship when the other people don't want you in the bed or it can be with roommates who don't have a bed to sleep in and you got to sleep on the couch it can either suck badly or be really cool depending on the situation

I'm on couch arrest tonight

by Swaggy Jeff September 12, 2022

Couch Fucker

A European or other nationality male that dates an American Female, since the word Amerykanka in many languages also means couch, like an American woman, a couch, just fuck n sits there!

Guy - Dude, what are you doing with that Amerikanka?

Dude - Dude! She's my girlfriend, she's hot! I love her!
Guy -

Dude - What?!
Guy -

Dude - ?WHAT!
Guy - Couch Fucker, we are ashamed of you
Dude - Aw, Dude
Guy - Dude yourself, and you can't sit on my couch, you have to sit on the floor from now on

by Comrade Plasternasty July 6, 2012