The self-bumpkin technique is performed by first waiting 7-10 days without taking a shit, and then when finally shitting, curving the large feces toward you, under your balls, up from between your legs, and into your dick. You then suck the shit back in and out of your ass, repeating this movement until ejaculation. This technique results in euphoria, as well as chlamydia, herpes, HPV, gonorrhea, and syphilis. Also you may notice black discharge from the urethra 2-12 hours after performing this technique.
It is told that performing this technique 7 times can result in ascension to a higher plane of spiritual existence, however no one has survived the process more than 3 times.
It is told that performing this technique 7 times can result in ascension to a higher plane of spiritual existence, however no one has survived the process more than 3 times.
“Dude, I’m about to try the self-blumpkin technique! I’m 6 days in without shitting!”
“Bro I wouldn’t do that. I tried it 4 years ago and there’s still black shit in my dick.”
“Bro I wouldn’t do that. I tried it 4 years ago and there’s still black shit in my dick.”
by Rusted Sounding Rod April 29, 2025
"Yo Jack! Did you hear Jordan stomped his shit down a shower drain while getting head from Iggy?"
"Yeah man, that's called a Blumpkin Waffle-Job"
"Yeah man, that's called a Blumpkin Waffle-Job"
by Freaky White Boy January 04, 2025
The act of taking a shit country blumpkin style, while also smoking a nice cigar. You, sir, are a gentleman of refined taste.
Bob: Did you get that file to the President yet?
Daryll: No, he was busy with his 9 O'clock businessman's blumpkin.
Daryll: No, he was busy with his 9 O'clock businessman's blumpkin.
by TheActuallyRealBillClinton April 05, 2025
A bomb rush blumpkin is where your getting a blumpkin (getting or giving head while on the toilet) and playing splatoon 2 at the same time
by Forbe June 29, 2024
In this modern iteration of a traditional Blumpkin, party1 sits reverse cowgirl on the toilet bowl, fellating party2 while they deposit an upper-decker into the tank. This gives the appearance of riding a double-decker bus. If both parties are simultaneously pooping, the terminology can be upgraded to "Royal Flush".
I heard the Queen used to give out London Blumpkins at Buckingham Palace. One lucky guy even got a Royal Flush!
by SweetPinkTacos April 10, 2024
A dressing/ condiment, usually handcrafted, from the products that result from a finished blumpkin. Popular in Greek/ American cuisine
by CharlieRomeo September 04, 2021
by Thefinisher69 May 25, 2020