The big place above the U.S. that people call a country even though we all know its just a big state.
by G-Fizzle April 17, 2007
Get the Canada mug.A sexual act when you shave a woman's genitals then glue her pubic hair to your upper lip only to twist it into a Snidely Whiplash style mustache. You then proceed to tie her to the bed then stand by the bed side laughing mechanically as a line of men run a train on her (having sex with her one after another). Each man pulls out and ejaculates on her stomach until her entire torso is covered in semen. She is then left tied up over night until the semen dries and becomes flaky.
The entire hockey team taught her a bit about Canada's History and come morning she was glazed like a bear claw.
by BeaverDam February 4, 2010
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An act, sexual in nature, that requires the use of day old poutine gravy as a lubricant for your 3rd puck-bunny of the evening - who is also know as a hat trick.
"Hey, you guys using that poutine? 'Cause I could use a little Canada's History for when I go 5 hole on Marcy."
by Keepin' it Louis Riel February 4, 2010
Get the Canada's History mug.The most depraved sexual act in human history.
During the crossing of the great Land Bridge from modern-day Siberia to Canada, man's brain was relatively undeveloped; as a result, his nerves were also undeveloped, especially involving sexual titillation. Getting a man to climax took extreme feats.
Fossils have been found of a grown man having entered a woman from the vagina with most of his lower body, having pierced her left and right armpits with mammoth tusks and using that, it seems, as leverage to move in every direction inside of her. Judging by the proximity to where the fossils were found, it seems that the woman was ritualistically waterboarded as well, perhaps to make her body convulse and writhe in order to arouse the male.
There is also evidence of using some sort of sticky substance, perhaps syrup, instead of lubrication, in order to add friction to the penetration.
Most intriguing, however, is the recent find of what appears to be a sacrificial bowl on top of a pillar, which closely resembles the modern day Stanley Cup. Judging by the premature bones found in the bowl, it appears that, in cases of extreme inability to reach climax, the male would perform the above sexual act on an infant so that there was more control over movement. When the act was finished, the semen was harvested and implanted into a mature female using moose antlers, and the infant was nursed back to health using syrup, which was the ancient's version of Advil, KY, and Elmer's.
During the crossing of the great Land Bridge from modern-day Siberia to Canada, man's brain was relatively undeveloped; as a result, his nerves were also undeveloped, especially involving sexual titillation. Getting a man to climax took extreme feats.
Fossils have been found of a grown man having entered a woman from the vagina with most of his lower body, having pierced her left and right armpits with mammoth tusks and using that, it seems, as leverage to move in every direction inside of her. Judging by the proximity to where the fossils were found, it seems that the woman was ritualistically waterboarded as well, perhaps to make her body convulse and writhe in order to arouse the male.
There is also evidence of using some sort of sticky substance, perhaps syrup, instead of lubrication, in order to add friction to the penetration.
Most intriguing, however, is the recent find of what appears to be a sacrificial bowl on top of a pillar, which closely resembles the modern day Stanley Cup. Judging by the premature bones found in the bowl, it appears that, in cases of extreme inability to reach climax, the male would perform the above sexual act on an infant so that there was more control over movement. When the act was finished, the semen was harvested and implanted into a mature female using moose antlers, and the infant was nursed back to health using syrup, which was the ancient's version of Advil, KY, and Elmer's.
"Mrs. Shepard, your husband's mind has been warped by his cruel sexual abuse as a child: it seems as though he will respond to nothing short of a Canada's History. I'm sorry. I can give you the number of an excellent divorce lawyer."
by dopplegang February 9, 2010
Get the Canada's History mug.by Rory O'Boyle November 22, 2007
Get the Canada mug.a term used in German concentration camps during the Second World War to refer to the building where valuables confiscated from prisoners were kept; German prison guards thought of Canada as a non-specific place of great wealth; for prisoners, 'Canada' connoted both wealth and freedom.
by wellwell January 29, 2009
Get the Canada mug.A sexual act preformed atop a moose. The woman inserts a moose antler into her vagina, while a man, using maple syrup as lubricant, preforms anal sex upon her anus. The moose balances on the Stanley Cup during Canada's History.
by pleased Canadian February 4, 2010
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