stroke the tortoise

Refers to masturbating an uncircumcised penis.

Hey, I was with Kenneth last Friday and he asked his girlfriend if she wanted to stroke the tortoise; in front of everyone.

by deepthong November 22, 2022

tortoise tickler

When being anally fingered so deep that the finger reaches fecal matter.

We were in a gay tussle when he used the tortoise tickler, and then he had to stop to wash his hands.

by Myspeakingpseudonym July 4, 2015

Naval Tortoise

A person who loves water...to the point where some people say it is obsessive. They cannot stay away from water long and typically hate on those who disrespect H2O. People often call them insane but they often beat them in water-related sports. It is believed that after a certain point they will grow fins and gills, though it is said to be theoretically impossible. It is believed they may be the future of man's aquatic evolution. Great prowess, ESP. on a water bed!

Mcgee: You see that naval tortoise
Rackman: Yeah he grew his fins last night and stole my girl this morning.

by DJ Craze October 23, 2013

tortoising

The moment when you can't hold in youre poo and the tip of the shit comes out of your anus. Most of the time you are able to pull it back in when you have strong sphincter.

Oh damn, i am tortoising . I really need to find a lavatory or my briefs will get very dirty

by Tortoising July 27, 2019

Naughtis Tortoise

When someone says something you don't agree with or find a bit weird or controversial (e.g acting sus)
You would Use this set of words in the beginning of a sentence or just say them on their own after the phrase you dont agree with occurs.

Person1: Wait there a second i'm coming now
Person2: I'm 'coming' in your mom hahaha
Person3: Naughtis Tortoise, why you got to be acting sus like that

by OatmealUser January 3, 2022

Whiskey Tortoise

Flaccid, impotent male genitals that result from consuming too much alcohol (esp. whiskey or bourbon).

"He got so drunk and later, in bed, he had a total whiskey tortoise. I lied and told him that it was fine and that all that mattered was being close to him."

by Tortoisemaster August 26, 2013

Touching The Tortoise

Masturbation of the male genitals

Touching the tortoise- masturbation

My girlfriend sent nudes, I’m going to touch my tortoise to them

by WillyMaster1001 November 4, 2023