Emergency Outage

Federal Government PR term referring to a scheduled service that fails to become operative at the agreed upon time, usually due to higher priority legislative responsibilities slowing down the process with events including (but not limited to) wasting tax dollars on unapproved, discretionary outings, low-mileage private jets to environmental causes, scheduling hearings about hearings to discuss hearings concerning future hearings, and early identification and concealment of tax dollar shrinkage.
The new student loan website that was set to launch on Monday instead simply displayed, "Emergency Outage."
by The Jolliest of Rogers March 29, 2010
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Medical Emergency

Noun \i-ˈmər-jənt-sē\

1. An unexpected and usually dangerous health related situation that calls for immediate action.

2. A patient requiring urgent and immediate medical attention

3. An occurrence or condition which prevents one from being capable of performing the duties of their job and/or living because of impending threat to their visual acuity, extremity locomotion or core autonomic respiratory and circulatory functions (aside from a severe case of Crying Baby Syndrome CBS)
In short: LIFE, LIMB or EYESIGHT

If you do not meet one of the definitions above, your situation is NOT an emergency and can wait until the primary care provider's office opens. Additionally, if you had the time to read this entire sign, you are most likely not an emergent patient.
*Frantic knocking on door*

Medic: "It's 0236. What's the medical emergency?"

Random Whiner: "Doc, I've got a bad cough and I stubbed my toe..."

Medic: "You... Cough. . . Toe. . ."

*Grabs weapon, chambers round*

Random Whiner: "Erm..." *runs away quickly*

Medic: "Feelin better now, eh?"
by Green_Machine November 14, 2013
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Emergency wank

When the sudden urge to jizz is so overwhelming that you have to stop everything and have an emergency wank
Jesus Christ. I was at McDonald's drive-thru earlier when I had to abandon the car and run into the disabled toilets for an emergency wank. It was like I was possessed
by Mrrobot7891 August 07, 2020
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emergency dram

emergencydramthe overwhelming need for a wee drink, deoch, nip, whilst moving beween bars. Primarily used by people who are from the Scottish highlands teuchtersparticularly those who play shinty.
"That's miles away mun, here let's go in here for an emergency dram"
by Coinneach January 13, 2007
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emergency deucectomy

The act of removing a dangerous & potentially deadly poo immediately.
After making four trips through the buffet line, I need to perform an emergency deucectomy stat!
by slice60 November 24, 2009
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beer emergency

n. (bEER uh-mEr-jen-Cy) nicknamed emergency for the sole purpose of stealing your friends away from home to drink an 18-pack (or any large amount of beer) in thiry minutes. Then following this you return back to your previous activity.
"Yo bro we have a beer emergency and we need you immediately."
by Benny D November 08, 2005
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Family Emergency

In the occasion or anything that is better than work or something that you already had planned, and now you find yourself in the position of not wanting to go anymore because you have way better plans and better things to do, and you dont want to seem like a flake! You go ahead and use i had a FAMILY EMERGENCY.
Employee " I have a family emergency that i need to attend to in Arizona, my neice got locked up and she has now one to bail her out on friday so i need to go pick her up"

Manager " Thats fine you can go ahead and take the day off"

Employe (thinks to himself) im gonna see so many titts in havasu this spring break!
by Bobb1hill March 24, 2011
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