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Useless as a damp SQUID

SQUID is the acronym for a superconducting quantum interference device. It measures very small magnetic fields and is rendered useless when wet due to its very sensitive nature. Also, used as a massive Fuck You to all those pedant bitches who think it should be "squib". I mean, just who do you think you are? A 16th century musketeer?
Mate, you've not only missed the goal you've missed the ball altogether! Sometimes I think you're as useless as a damp SQUID.
by Sir Rupert Hume de Chardin III February 4, 2015
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Useless Textbook

A phrase used by parents of, or by, a failing student when referring to their shitty grades. Usually because they refuse to admit that said student is a lazy bum who won't study. Usually these students are "special".
Mr. Lala: Well, Mrs. Smith, to be frank, Billy has a 28% in my chemistry class.

Mrs. Smith: What??! That's some load of crap, Mister! I mean, look at his textbook! It's useless! It's a useless textbook!

Mr. Lala: ...But he doesn't even pay attention in class. And all of his homework is incomplete.

Mrs. Smith: I'll have your job for this!!
by fubsish September 9, 2009
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useless

TA is useless because he typed the word 'obbject'
by TA is retarded June 1, 2009
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Useless Boner

A term for when a man gets an erection, but has no use for it at the time.
Single man: "I woke up again with another useless boner..."

Married man: "Thank god I never have that problem!"
by Dustin J White October 22, 2008
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useless boob

A girl who makes herself available to the men around her, allowing them to think she will perform certain sexual favours, whilst not in fact ever performing such favours. Hence useless boob. The boob is there, but useless as she will not allow anyone to make "use" of it.
God leala, you're such a useless boob. Let's make out....
by Sir William Arsenpuffin April 20, 2003
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Useless Help

n: Useless help is when you have a problem (usually computor/xbox/ps3/etc based) and you find a forum, download, or manual telling you how to fix it. Then, the dowload, forum, or manual fails to fix your problem.
FORUM:

You- Well, I already tried (x) but it didn't work.

noob- Well, try (x)
You- UGH I DID THAT noob!

DOWNLOAD:
Hmm this software looks useful.
(After an hour..)
Crap, I already had that!

MANUAL:
You- It says (x)... Well, I did that, so how about advanced help?
(After 5 minutes to find that shit...)
Damnit, it says the same thing!
{In all cases, you have been given Useless Help}
by LordAflak September 9, 2010
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Unsexessful

Last night was very unsexessful!
by Mr Barry Turnbottom February 15, 2013
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