Jewish Surprise

Circumcising a man while he has passed out drunk. He then wakes up with a jewish surprise.

Why am I speaking Yiddish, oh mosseltoff! I've been hit by a jewish surprise!

by El Gringo the third March 8, 2009

Jewish Kryptonite

Free ham.

A paradox created for a hungry Jew by a generous miscreant.

Jewish Kryptonite! Now what do I do? Oy vey!

by Salacious January 1, 2009

Jewish nose

A nose that most Jews have that is a bit hooked down and sometimes larger, though the size doesn't matter.

The only way I could tell he was Jewish was his jewish nose.

by I am smart like that hehehehe March 20, 2010

Jewish Bankroll

A wallet with only single dollar bills and loose change inside.

"Your wallet resembles one of a jewish bankroll, so afraid to part with your big bills, only singles."

"Why are you picking up pennies, are you gonna add to your jewish bankroll?"

by Peshotto October 2, 2007

jewish water

ordering a "water" at a fast food restaurant, only to fill it up with some other beverage of your choosing when no employees are looking. comes from the stereotype that jews are cheap, and would therefore partake in this activity.

mike: i'm hella thirsty, let's hit up captain d's man

tyrone: ok, shit, i only have a dollar, but i'm really thirsty too

mike: it's cool dude, let's just get jewish waters and then we'll have enough money to get food too!

by mike hunt96 December 25, 2009

A Jewish Paycheck

A large amount of money payed for in coins, usually in quarters, but doesn't exclude to pennies, nickles, and dimes.

Person 1: Dude, my boss left out $10 bucks from paycheck this week. When I told him, he told me it was a mistake and, instead of writing out another check for $10 bucks, he just gave it to me in real money. Yeah, all in coins.

Person 2: That explains that jingling i was hearing, your boss gave you a Jewish Paycheck

by MetalheadJoe666 June 29, 2010

Jewish favor

To offer an in-kind service to an individual while knowing full well that they are not going to accept. In return, the individual now owes you +1 due to the empty offer you had made. You also score brownie points and karma points with said individual.

The key to a successful Jewish favor is knowing the answer you will receive before asking the question.

"Ah man, I wish I had enough money to buy these panties for my gf" - Individual 1
"I don't mind buying them for you" - Not so friend Joe
"Nah, it's okay man, thanks though" - Individual 1

Not so friend Joe just scored some brownie points with Individual 1. Individual 1 now owes Joe +1.
Not so friend Joe just gave Matt the jewish favor.

by Rabbi Joe May 23, 2015