life insurance

The investment you make betting that your worth more dead than alive. Upon death your investment usually results in your family getting rich.

John was a loser not worth a crap to his family, then he died and the life insurance made then filthy stinking rich.

by Dr. Uncle Fucker Crapper John M.D. July 23, 2003

Insurance agent

One of the shittiest people there are. Usually have a shitty name like Jeff and pretend to give you a "deal" in order to sign you up but one you get into an accident you'll soon realize you don't know even have insurance. Usually bundles all kinds of insurance together too so he makes the most money and you don't even know about it.

I'm so excited I just got new insurance at a low rate from my insurance agent!

Did someone named jeff sign you up?

Yeah he did!

LOL, you played yourself.

by Extremeist June 14, 2017

Locker Insurance

Insurance Seniors sell to freshman to "Insure" they won't get shoved in their lockers

"What does Locker Insurance do?"
"Here I'll show you!"

by sjp092 November 19, 2009

memory insurance

A method of writing something down before you forget, whether on a piece of paper or on your arm or hand. May also include calling your own phone and leaving yourself a voice message, or emailing yourself. Basically a self-reminder.

Roommate 1: Can you give me a ride to the airport on Friday? My flight leaves at 6.
Roommate 2: Yeah hold on a sec, I'm gonna write that on a sticky note, just for memory insurance.

by ambermonk May 12, 2011

insurance rule

One of those seemingly ridiculous rules in sports or other public institutions that exist only to cover the asses of the insurance companies.

I can't believe Rick got a suspension for taking his mask off before leaving the ice - it must be an insurance rule.

by rentropy December 27, 2008

insurance wipe

The action of wiping after a clean poop thus insuring yourself of a clean balloon knot.

Sam: "Man i just wasted four squares of toilet paper!"
Devin: "What do you mean?"
Sam: "There was no poop on the toilet paper after I wiped."
Devin: "Well, then consider it an insurance wipe, you can never be too safe!"

by Bill Lowbiter March 2, 2014

Food insurance

Food insurance is a second meal ordered at the same time as your original meal. It is used as insurance in case you are still hungry. Not to be confused with a side order.

Chris got the Mac and cheese platter as food insurance. He is never sure if the spaghetti pizza will be enough.

by abeanpie December 22, 2017