When being blue balled by a girl, any man can utilize dead man’s hand. Wait for the girl to sleep and gently put her hand on your phallus whilst you fantasize about her jerking you off.
Chad: “So Brad, did you get lucky with Jessica last night?
Brad: “Nah dude, she blue balled me. I used the dead man’s hand though, so eventually she made me jizz.”
Chad: “Awesome”
Brad: “Nah dude, she blue balled me. I used the dead man’s hand though, so eventually she made me jizz.”
Chad: “Awesome”
by Anonymos Maximus July 12, 2021
When someone of significant importance fakes their own death and goes into protective custody so they can provide the evidence needed to take down “International Crime Rings.”
by Edge of Seventeen July 16, 2021
A dead pan man is as dead as tin. Dead meat as a pot on a stove. He never gets it and always forgets the details.
Dead pan man please understand you never follow the rules. Cause if you keep breaking them you won’t have a second chance!
by aromabinger June 11, 2024
Dead Man’s Smegma is a game of pure unfiltered wit and strength
To achieve this game’s true potential, 5 or more participants are ideal and every participant must agree to do absolutely anything the game throws at them
Each participant must put the most cruel dare or task they can think of into a hat, and each participant takes one from the hat
your reward for performing the dare is in turn watching 5+ others perform theirs, each as cruel as the next, each as cruel as your own
you must take responsibility for any consequences that come from Dead Man’s Smegma and must never blame the game itself
To achieve this game’s true potential, 5 or more participants are ideal and every participant must agree to do absolutely anything the game throws at them
Each participant must put the most cruel dare or task they can think of into a hat, and each participant takes one from the hat
your reward for performing the dare is in turn watching 5+ others perform theirs, each as cruel as the next, each as cruel as your own
you must take responsibility for any consequences that come from Dead Man’s Smegma and must never blame the game itself
by Kermit the Fag September 29, 2018
Very good at negotiating, smooth talker, above average persuasive skills. Coined by Candice on Big Brother 15
I don't really wanna by these girl scout cookies, but man, that girl could sell a coffin to a dead man!
by AugustG August 09, 2013
When someone (friend, stranger, homeless person, whoever) is either unconscious or deceased and you grab their hand, wrap their fingers around your erect penis and manipulate their elbow into moving their arm to jerk you off.
“Yo, my buddy was passed out in basically a diabetic coma, so before I called 911 I used him to give me a dead man’s hand Dutch rudder. I even finished right before the paramedics got there. I told them the jizz on his face was just frosting from all the Cinnabon and sodies he ate. They bought it!”
by The Gaudy Ginger February 10, 2021
1) When a problem is encured, this phrase is used to tell another person that the originator's needs are simply not possible/available and probably won't be in the near future.
2) To be doomed to misery in the near future
3) A term used to refer to a homosexual that engages in necrophelia.
2) To be doomed to misery in the near future
3) A term used to refer to a homosexual that engages in necrophelia.
1) "Dude, you know how you need that kidney? Well, you're looking at being a dead man's lover."
2) "I got drunk last night instead of studying for my Physics final, I'm a dead man's lover."
2) "I got drunk last night instead of studying for my Physics final, I'm a dead man's lover."
by R Vollen February 21, 2008