varnished monkey

Someones who's really vain and makes an unecessary effort with their appearance e.g. a well oiled, beautifully bronzed sunbather at a tourist resort, or a cool kid with too much gel in their hair. The phrase was first used in german (lackierter Affe), and is a lovely description of that loathsome type of person.

Arnie: "Check out my beautifully oiled biceps"
Sally: "Wow! You're a real varnished monkey!"

by Jamie Douglas September 6, 2006

Monkey Monday

A Super Smash Bros festivity in that every monday, you must play as Donkey Kong, no matter the circumstances.

“Bro, are you really playing as Sephiroth right now? it’s Monkey Monday! you need to play as DK!”

by CrissMaster July 15, 2022

monkey closet

don’t open my monkey closet i said to the guy he did and he got eaten to death and died and there was blood

person 1: “dont open my monkey closet”
person 2: *does*
there is blood

by aceofspad3s December 31, 2021

Monkey Truth

The kind of truth that comes out after one take's his/her mask off.

It took hours of discussions for the monkey truth to come out. Perhaps the wine allowed the mask to come off to understand her true feelings about her destiny.

by djk_wff March 29, 2009

Fuzzy Monkey

A sexual position in which the man hangs from a tree upside down by his dick, while being sucked off by an entity (preferably a monkey)in the tree and also eating out a female on the ground level.

"God, my ex-gf was sooooo boring she wouldn't do a fuzzy monkey with me!"

by bitchbag42069696969 February 22, 2019

Monkey in space

Combining the BuzzLightYear and Monkey Face gives you the monkey in space. Shave your pubic region and fill a fish bowl with the hair. At the top of a flight of stairs, while fornicating your lover doggy style, when your just about to cum, take it out of her, and smack her in the head. When she gets pissed and turns around, cum on her face, shove the fishbowl over her head and shove her down the stairs while waving a laser pointer around and screaming "TO INFINITE AND BEYOND!!"

The girl will be massively confused, trying to stop falling, and trying to clean her now hairy face, but the fishbowl will keep her from getting at it. While falling she'll resemble a monkey in space!

She flew through the air like a monkey in space!

by Nikki Noo Noo December 13, 2010

crunch monkey

Someone who eats like an animal. They chew with their mouth open, crunch loudly, talk with their mouth open, and are completely oblivious that they do it.

Mike: Dude...Jen is such a crunch monkey.
Bob: I can even see what she ate for breakfast!

by Mikizzle May 1, 2006