People Magazine's sexiest man alive for a record four times. Despite his overwhelming animal magnetism he maintains humility claiming: "I'm not an animal..." His universal sexual appeal makes women swoon and turns even the most macho men into fairy poofs like Tom Cruise, Sean Connery, Malcolm X, Jerry Falwell, Bear Grylls, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Rosie O'Donnell, and the offensive line of the New England Patriots. The Real Doll company is allegedly planning to release a John Merrick doll complete with hood; it is safe to say that it will supplant "Charlie" as the best seller.
Ben: Hey Tom, with that three pounds of deli meat covering your body you kinda resemble John Merrick...
Tom: Really...that's unreal...I gotta go find a mirror to masturbate to while making sucking noises.
Tom: Really...that's unreal...I gotta go find a mirror to masturbate to while making sucking noises.
by Frank "ND" Giuffrida March 25, 2008
Get the John Merrickmug. an all-encompassing state of mind which allows endless possibilities to those who enable it. With John Mode ON, no other modes are required. It is superior to God Mode, Beast Mode, à la mode or any other mode conceived by man or nature.
by Dark Chocolate v2 June 15, 2011
Get the John Modemug. An incredible author, born in California, whose books were mainly based in the agricultural pastures of California. Famous writer of novels such as Of Mice and Men, The Grapes of Wrath, and East of Eden, among many others. You should definitely try reading his novels.
by Britishbostonian August 10, 2017
Get the John Steinbeckmug. The frontman of the Beets, brilliant song writer and musical Jesus. Decieved by the succubus Yoko Onion. He is bigger than Jesus and greater than you. Bow down.
by MemesForSand January 3, 2017
Get the John Lemonmug. To Lieutenant Colonel John Laurens1
Middlebrook, New Jersey, April, 17792
Cold in my professions, warm in ⟨my⟩3 friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, it m⟨ight⟩4 be in my power, by action rather than words, ⟨to⟩ convince you that I love you.
Middlebrook, New Jersey, April, 17792
Cold in my professions, warm in ⟨my⟩3 friendships, I wish, my Dear Laurens, it m⟨ight⟩4 be in my power, by action rather than words, ⟨to⟩ convince you that I love you.
by Hamitrash October 6, 2018
Get the John laurensmug. Guitarist//Backup vocalist for The Summer Set. Extremely beautiful. Has the best glasses ever. Curly hair. Tells the funniest jokes. Gives the best hugs. All hail John Gomez!
Guy: Who's that guy with the awesome glasses and the cool hair?
Girl: Duh, it's John Gomez!
Guy: Oh, that guy with the cool voice?
Girl: And the sick guitar skills?
Guy: The guy that tells all those funny jokes?
Girl: The guy that's too sexy to punch the maid? (from songlibs vid on youtube)
Guy: Yeah! The guy with the Vans Eras?
Girl: The guy that gives amazing hugs?
... and so on for another decade.
Girl: Duh, it's John Gomez!
Guy: Oh, that guy with the cool voice?
Girl: And the sick guitar skills?
Guy: The guy that tells all those funny jokes?
Girl: The guy that's too sexy to punch the maid? (from songlibs vid on youtube)
Guy: Yeah! The guy with the Vans Eras?
Girl: The guy that gives amazing hugs?
... and so on for another decade.
by FYjohngomez December 11, 2010
Get the John Gomezmug. One of the greatest guitar players to ever walk the earth. Guitarist for Dream Theater, Liquid Tension Experiment, and a solo artist. Can shred like a madman, but is virtuostic and can play pretty much any style of music as well.
by Jared Dowty September 24, 2005
Get the John Petruccimug.