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football

the sport where you kick a ball and pretend to D I E when someone touches you're ear
football player 1: (touches ear)
football player 2: (drops to the ground and pretends he got ran over) AAAHHHH MY EVERYTHING!!!
football player 1: wtf?
referee: that's not a fault
football team 2 fans: WHAT THE FUCK THAT'S TOTALLY A FAULT!!!!!
by burgerking footletuce November 30, 2018
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Brexit football

A variant of football played by children on Merseyside. The rules are generally the same as association football, offside rule excepted. However, violent and dangerous tackles, which would usually be adjudged fouls, are allowed if the tackling player shouts "Brexit means Brexit" before or during the tackle. Shouts after the tackle are sometimes adjudicated to be fouls. The game takes its name from Boris Johnson's attempted tackle on Maurizio Gaudino during the England v Germany legends match in 2006.
"The school had to ban Brexit football after a kid in year 9 got his collar bone broken. Terrible business."

"I know, the lad who tackled him didn't even shout "Brexit means Brexit" so it was a free kick anyway."
by Plastic Patricio October 30, 2024
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Brendan's fantasy football team

1) A terrible and highly-overrated team of fantasy footballers; the most notoriously shitty "Brendan's fantasy football team" plays in the "Justice For John Markus Nead"

2) The vaginal equivalent of male "blue balls"
1) Rocco: "Brendan's fantasy football team blows"
2) Raul: "My girl had a bad case of Brendan's fantasy football team last night"
Spencer Ware: "Shoulda fucked her as hard as I fucked Rocco's team in the championship"
by Rocky C 816 August 12, 2017
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football medals

thisngs that are shiny that pedos like to collect to shove up litlle kiddiesd asses
by the guy from the pedo commercial September 16, 2003
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Football

by sxysmartguy July 13, 2021
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American football

A sport
From America
Well, more like copied off rugby
Just with armor and some other minor differences
Well, the “football” part isn’t really true
You don’t use your feet
And what the fuck is that thing
Not round, not anything, not a ball by my definition
Anyways, it’s a sport
And some people think that it is more popular than non-American football
Aka football, soccer if you are American
But you are wrong, 140 million watch the Super Bowl
1.7 billion watch the World Cup
At least this year
Both sports are good
Just football (soccer) is more popular
So y’all just stop fighting over which is better.
I like American football
Idk what to put
by Gdisvvc March 20, 2023
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