grandpa's an asshole

A sick yet great song by Blink 182!

When you fucked grandpa did he tell you that he loved you
Did he hold you till the sun did rise
and did he look into your eyes
and ask you to felate him
and stick a finger or two in his ass

He seems like a total asshole
Grandpa is a total fucking asshole
Who would ever want a dirty greasy finger in his ass
he rubs his dick in broken glass

when you fucked grandpa did he kiss you soft and tender
did he tie your hands behind your head
and was it on your mother's bed

and this is stupid man! I can't believe you'd have sex with your own grandfather. I mean you guys are related! Whats he gonna do, take out his false teeth and just leave them on the side of your bed? Man, he likes to fuck you up the bottom, and grandma would come in and watch, and masturbate, and cum all over the place, and this is stupid! I hate you all! I'm not even gonna have sex with my mom tonight! Man, this is stupid! I hate you!

by Lizzy March 19, 2005

asshole crumbs

Sporadic, weak or low-investment gestures of interest from a suiter or would-be partnerm that obscures the fact that the suiter or would be partner is not actually invested in the relationship. Often employed to keep the relationship just barely going in a way that does not heavily burden the person delivering the asshole crumbs but keeps his or her options perennially open.

After we had sex the first time she said she is scared that she is falling in love with me, but since then all I've gotten is a text now and then and some other asshole crumbs. OR : Narcissists are very good at sprikling some asshole crumbs in front of you just as you're about to completely write them off.

by Bill from Boston April 11, 2017

respected asshole

Adj. A oxymoron to describe a person who is highly respected but at the same time, this person gets away with being an asshole due to established hierarchy status.

Example:
1."My boss is the biggest "respected asshole" I have ever known.

2. "Hey that punk ass mod banned me for getting tired of his shit!" "Fuck him, from now on hes a "very overly respected asshole!"

by noneofyourfuckingbusness October 21, 2012

Asshole Penetration

when a dick comes in and out of the asshole. OR when the dick enters the asshole at a very fast rate.

hey Kimberly i could really use some asshole penetration right now because im really horney.

by theassholepenetrator May 14, 2012

Asshole switch

A part of someone’s brain that is triggered in mysterious ways, causing them to (re)act like an asshole to an innocent comment

All I did was ask him to copy me on that email, and he freaked the hell out. Must have flipped his asshole switch. Damn.

by Fortyphobic November 17, 2018

Asshole Chicken

Any chicken that gets prepared and served in the following way: 1. The server grabs it with her bare hands after touching her ass 2. The chicken squirts when you pick it up 3. The chicken looks like an old lady’s clitoris and smells like an Ass-Plosion 4. It comes in two variants: the cream-covered artichoke cunt, and the piss-yellow clitoris

Asian Dad: Holy fuck, this asshole chicken tastes like dog meat! I need another plate!
Everyone else: Fucking Christ, this chicken looks and smells like an old sweaty vag! Who the fuck made this?

by #fuckgoblindrill February 26, 2022

molten asshole

Where you take the massive, most painful shit, that is at least the temperature of the sun.

Even after you finish shitting it still feels like your ass turned into a volcano.

*Jake*: Dude did you ever get molten asshole?
*Andy*: Yeah dude that shit burns

*Jake*: I try to get toilet bowl water in there to cool it down
*Andy*: lolwut

by AndyJSwag March 20, 2014