Skip to main content

masturbate

To sooth the shaft. To calm the shaft. The act of one's self meditating and endulging the shaft. Commonly done in front of your grandma. Often robots will struggle to find similar stimulation, unless enough OIL is provided. Make sure your grandma sees however, otherwise process will not work. Your shaft will not work.
"yo bro pp work does yours?"

"dude no what the frick? shaft cam masturbate i try to!"

"grandma room she in is?"

"no course of not is she what?!"

"well don't wonder why working it isn't pepe shaft does not fuction?!"
by peepeepoopypoo March 3, 2020
mugGet the masturbatemug.
<.0.6.7.6.>Psychosomatically Masturbating PsychosocomaticallyarisesisasAresesisaPsychomaticau <.0.6.7.6.0.>
<.0.6.7.6.>Psychosomatically Masturbating PsychosocomaticallyarisesisasAresesisaPsychomaticau <.0.6.7.6.0.>
mugGet the <.0.6.7.6.>Psychosomatically Masturbating PsychosocomaticallyarisesisasAresesisaPsychomaticau <.0.6.7.6.0.>mug.

tactical masturbation

It's a term for masturbating (or busting a nut) before meeting a girl or going on a date. Now.. how is it useful? Well it helps you to think with your brain and not with your dick.
My friend: Bro.... I made a mistake. I accidentally did the deeds with Lily...

Me: God damn Lily???? Bro you really should have tactical masturbation
by Harsit2006 December 29, 2023
mugGet the tactical masturbationmug.

masturbation betrayal

When you and a partner agree not to masturbate until a certain date but they do it anyway and make you aware of them breaking the promise.
David: “Gonna beat my meat, gonna beat my meat
Me: “David!! That’s masturbation betrayal!”
by Spittingstraightfacts January 2, 2020
mugGet the masturbation betrayalmug.

aural masturbation

When someone loves hearing the sound of their own voice, and that person's idea of a conversation is actually a soliloquy or monologue...and simply won't STFU.
Steve appeared to be blissful and aloof, oblivious to the bored and vexed faces of his companions, as he listened to the wall of sound exiting his mouth in yet another round of aural masturbation.
by MoGyver April 8, 2016
mugGet the aural masturbationmug.

masturbation Olympics

A +18 thing that is in the Olympics where 1. You masturbate until you reach ejaculation or 2. You stop masturbating right before you produce semen
Herby Hancock was desperate to watch the masturbation Olympics

Masturbation Olympics winner: the feeling of winning and ejaculation was so good that infact it is the best day of my life and also my advice is at least don't masturbate for 1 day before you do the masturbation Olympics
by Sebastian hiney February 27, 2021
mugGet the masturbation Olympicsmug.

Amish Masturbate

To "Amish Masturbate" is to masturbate without the assistance of any modern technological advancements.
This means no screens, no porno, no vibrators, and no masturbatory aid of any kind.
Man, I've been watching too much porn lately. I think I'm going to exclusively Amish masturbate for a while.
by Epileptic Squirrel Rapist December 7, 2024
mugGet the Amish Masturbatemug.

Share this definition