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Purity Guardian

/ˈpyʊrɪti ˈɡɑ rdiən/ noun

1. A self-appointed enforcer of perceived moral or sexual purity, often found lurking in religious households, youth groups, or conservative communities.
2. A person (often a parent, leader, or elder sibling) who monitors the behavior, thoughts, clothing, and friendships of others in the name of holiness.

Common behaviors:
Frequently asks, “Who were you with?” and “What were you wearing?”

Monitors text messages, crushes, and clothing length with the intensity of a federal agent.

Believes human intimacy is dangerous until legally and heterosexually sanctified.
“I couldn’t even go to the movies without my purity guardian accusing me of leading boys astray.”

"My purity guardian said my ankles were ‘stumbling blocks.’ I was wearing socks."
by benchurch15 May 27, 2025
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Purity Guardian

/ˈpyʊrɪti ˈɡɑ rdiən/ noun

1. A self-appointed enforcer of perceived moral or sexual purity, often found lurking in religious households, youth groups, or conservative communities.
2. A person (often a parent, leader, or elder sibling) who monitors the behavior, thoughts, clothing, and friendships of others in the name of holiness.

Common behaviors:
Frequently asks, “Who were you with?” and “What were you wearing?”

Monitors text messages, crushes, and clothing length with the intensity of a federal agent.

Believes human intimacy is dangerous until legally and heterosexually sanctified
“I couldn’t even go to the movies without my purity guardian accusing me of leading boys astray.”
by benchurch15 May 27, 2025
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Related Words

Old Guard

The people that saw you through the murky middle. You might not have known them in the beginning, they might not be there in the end, but they acted as the guards, the controls, that paid the light bill inside the tunnel and obscured the distant beam at end.
“He had an angelic afternoon after work when he walked into the tavern and he got to talk to some of the old guard.”
by Jeremiah Collins June 3, 2025
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Genome Guardian

a roguelite turret shooter by Alpherior. You combine DNA to create a bunch of different weapons and it's really cool. On Steam and Switch.
I've played Genome Guardian for 100hrs and I'm still not done everything yet wtf
by Alpherior September 25, 2025
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National Guard

You know exactly what I'm going to say, right? They deserved to die. YOU KNOW that they have NO REASON to being doing what they are doing there. You have no reason to indulge him in what he is doing there. They were doing it to make Trump FEEL safe and they died for NOTHING. And this is not the politicians valiantly resisting giving up the ship. This is THIER stupidity GETTING YOUR WIVES AND BROTHER AND KIDS KILLED. Doubling down on stupidity. You don't have to ascent to every single idea I espouse but they are trying to make me do that with literal weaponized schizophrenia and you are allowing it because you are to fucking stupid to tell the people who are wrong that they are wrong and the people who are right, are right. 'BuT yOuR wRoNg AbOuT mY kIdS! AnD mY rElIgIoN.' I'M ALLOWED to be wrong about those things. You are not ALLOWED to be wrong about this.
Hym "The national guard bitch deserved to die. YOU ALL KNOW that you should not be doing what you are doing there. Over there. To me. You are NEVER going to get me to 'see the error of my ways.' You are going to let me do that I want to do and you are going to stop making philosophical point AT me. Collectively engaging in this act of pure absurd stupidity was not the answer here."

A retard "But child murder is ACTUALLY the WRONG response."

Hym "The alternate is letting a retard or a gaggle of retards rule over your lives INEVITABLY resulting child murder. He wanted you to stand there in from of the white house to intimate the people who would murder you AND IT DIDN'T WORK. THEY DID THEY TO ME to intimate people who would threaten you kids and IT DIDN'T WORK. How long to you need to sit there and let them do thing you know will not ever work? Until it YOUR family gets murdered and then they also expect you to keep doing it after that. Because getting you to stand there is more important that your life IN THE SAME WAY that GETTING ME TO STAY HERE is more important than your kids lives and they will throw you kids lives, right in the fucking garbage. Just live they did with the national guard."
by Hym Iam November 27, 2025
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South Color Guard

They're part of the famous Jaguar Pride marching band. And they're pretty much known to be the hottest group of girls at the school, other than the dance team. Also, just about half of them are known to be loved by one particular section. While LOTS of drama and scandal happens every week, they still come together and perform their very best in the end. The band members are proud to call them apart of the band.
That one particular section: The south color guard is soooo hot!

Other band member: Yeah. Have you seen them perform?? They're AMAZING!!
by AnonymousBaritone:) October 31, 2011
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New Hampshire Army National Guard

Always Ready. Always There.

Citizen Soldiers typically drill once a month and receive full tuition waived at New Hampshire State Schools. We're Doctors, Nurses, teachers, students, firefighters, police officers, state troopers, college professors, coaches, plumbers, contractors, business owners, journalists, etc. We're people who have important jobs in our communities who have decided that we ALSO want to stay fully qualified in a SECOND career to serve our country. We have given up our time with our families and time off from our civilian careers for training and drills. We somehow manage to do two things very successfully. And we think that's pretty "cool".
Dude, that New Hampshire Army National Guard soldier is literally getting paid to go to college. They must be their parents favorite child.
by jollyranger December 21, 2016
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