Danny DARVO
(a subtype of DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender)
Definition:
A manipulative silence tactic where the offender withholds communication, then subtly reverses blame when confronted. Rather than yelling or overtly attacking, Danny DARVO uses confusion, passivity, and moral high-ground posturing to make you feel like the problem.
Key Traits:
Ignores direct questions and delays responses.
Uses silence as punishment, not protection.
When finally called out, says things like “Wow, you’ve really changed” to frame your clarity as volatility.
Acts confused or wounded, instead of accountable.
Purpose:
To maintain power, avoid accountability, and cast themselves as the victim—all without saying anything “wrong.”
Emotional Effect on You:
Gaslighting via omission.
Guilt for being “too direct.”
Feeling like you’re crazy for wanting basic communication.
Emotional fatigue from carrying the full weight of the interaction
(a subtype of DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender)
Definition:
A manipulative silence tactic where the offender withholds communication, then subtly reverses blame when confronted. Rather than yelling or overtly attacking, Danny DARVO uses confusion, passivity, and moral high-ground posturing to make you feel like the problem.
Key Traits:
Ignores direct questions and delays responses.
Uses silence as punishment, not protection.
When finally called out, says things like “Wow, you’ve really changed” to frame your clarity as volatility.
Acts confused or wounded, instead of accountable.
Purpose:
To maintain power, avoid accountability, and cast themselves as the victim—all without saying anything “wrong.”
Emotional Effect on You:
Gaslighting via omission.
Guilt for being “too direct.”
Feeling like you’re crazy for wanting basic communication.
Emotional fatigue from carrying the full weight of the interaction
Ugh, that silently treatment from him may mean he's a Danny DARVO.
Don't be a Danny DARVO and deny, attack, reverse the victim with the offender. That is emotional abuse.
Don't be a Danny DARVO and deny, attack, reverse the victim with the offender. That is emotional abuse.
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