Shuffle The Tool Cards

Phrase meaning someone is being a tool and needs to stop doing so.

Guy One-Man, Mike is such a terd.
Guy Two-Yeah, he really needs to shuffle the tool cards.

by ~meatsandwich~ October 23, 2009

Tool-Bag-ish

To be annoying or embarassing with a friend in a group environment through immature means.

"I expected more out of you two. I mean talk about tool-bag-ish..."

by Swellsbury69 September 20, 2011

Five-Tool Player

The act of taking a penis in each hand, one in the mouth, one in the vagina, and one in the anus all at the same time with the intention of pleasing them all simultaneously.

Your Mom pleasured the entire starting lineup of the Golden State Warriors last night by taking the center in her mouth, the power forward in her vagina, the point guard in her anus, and each of the two shooting guards in her hands. She is a total five-tool player!

by McLovin1969 November 7, 2019

cool your tools

a work friendly way to say calm your tits ; the only way to tell a bitch to calm down

Margaret: omg I fucking hate you
Bob: cool your tools margaret

by coolyourtools September 8, 2016

bag your tool

wear a condom.

Be kool bag your tool.

by daman October 27, 2003

Mexican Tool Kit

Plastic Wal-Mart bag with the following three tools: Channel Locks, Bailing Wire, Duct Tape.

Juan: "Oye Pedro me Coche el motor explode on me between La Paz and Cabo San Lucas. Please come help me feex it"

Pedro: "Si Juan lay me get the Mexican Tool Kit and we get her running in no time."

by markemarkmark July 19, 2011

sharpest tool in the shed

Those rare individuals you find who, in addition to formal education, have considerable life experience, most likely from the School of Hard Knocks, and unlike the majority of the population, these individuals allow their vast pool of wisdom and knowledge to eventually shed their Ego and open up to Enlightenmentand and find their Path and then Enlightenment as many others as humanly possible. "Jack of All Trades"

"I just hired this sharp new gal Kristine as my Life Support Specialist. She not only has a formal education, but appears to have attended the School of Hard Knocks as well. She appears to have had a tough life but I'd say she's the sharpest tool in the shed that I've ever met to date!

by LoneStarPatio December 10, 2015