Porch Porn

noun

Also Porch-porn, Porchporn

1. The act of setting up a glitter bomb, dye trap, or any other “gotcha” decoy package on your doorstep for the sole purpose of filming a porch pirate getting humiliated — then uploading the footage for clout, moral superiority, and a little sparkly revenge.

2. Vigilantism rebranded as content creation. A suburban spectator sport where petty theft becomes a viral kink for people who get their dopamine from watching someone explode in glitter instead of personal growth.

3. The digital-age stocks: you bait the thief, the thief takes the bait, the internet gets a show, and everyone pretends it’s about justice instead of views.

“Bro, stop doomscrolling Porch Porn. You’re starting to think glitter counts as law enforcement.”

by APedant December 5, 2025

Back Porched

Making a place to chill out in the back of your parked wagon or hatchback by opening the back and folding the seats forward.

"We drove across the river and back porched for last night's sunset."

by Steve Capstick June 27, 2006

Back Porch Tummy Lifter

Method devised to allow the mating process of two super behemoths.

Leroy finally closed the deal with Lefonda by employing the back porch tummy lifter!

by Lumpuckeroris April 16, 2009

the parched lady

A facial massage, you rub on the face, and it make the person thirsty.

Person 1 "hey brody, do you want the parched lady?"

Person 2 "Yeah I would love one!"

*rubs face*
Person 2 " I'm thirsty as fuck"

by TugMasterW December 1, 2013

Scrapbook Parchment

The correct and significantly less lame term for the paper used in scrapbooks

"Yeah man that's some might hella scrapbook parchment you got there. Where'd ya get it?"

by katchanmeow March 20, 2014

Man Perch

A man cave, but on the top floor or attic rather then the bottom floor or basement.

Person 1: Hey, where is Chuck?
Person 2: He's in the man perch.

by VARice22 October 10, 2016

rohini parchure

The most beautiful specimen on the planet. It is the world's most magnificent compliment. It is so astounding tribute to have that it sparks jealousy to those who express the compliment and to those who hear the compliment, including the subject being called a rohini parchure!

Oh thank you for calling me a rohini parchure! I will forever be grateful to you.

by tarquintar-rexlordkrishna April 20, 2018