Jesus trophy

A special award given to highly religious people from the church. They get it when they have been going to church for over 60 years.
The actual trophy has an engraved pic of jesus + the inscription 'god fer lyfe'.

woo hoo! i finally got my jesus trophy,been waiting 60 long years for this.

by georgekoko March 6, 2009

Jesus Shield

People who proselytize and wave Jesus' name around when they are directly or indirectly accused of unethical or otherwise morally hazardous behavior.

Wow - what's up with Ted! All I called out was that I thought his cheating on his wife was not cool and he pulled out his Jesus Shield!

by RoSatanSF October 15, 2013

ass jesus

God himself, embodied into a profile picture of jouta kujo and brings holiness upon the land.

"man, how did joe finally get laid?"
"nobody knows, we can only thank ass Jesus"

by juwupiter February 12, 2020

Jesus holiday

The practice of a worker taking two days off from work ill before miraculously returning on the third day ie on the third day he rose again

Jarod was off ill on Monday and Tuesday, returning Wednesday before needing a sick note from the doctor. Must of been a Jesus holiday

by 10cc July 1, 2016

Jesus Boner

When your mans boner is so long that it is considered holy.

Lemme see your sweet Jesus Boner

by Cuntmuffin995 September 5, 2019

rave jesus

An individual who dresses up as jesus and attends raves. Goes up to individuals having a bad reaction or "trip" on drugs and makes them feel safe.

Friend one: Damn bro, I was so mucked out last night! I saw god!
Friend two: Na dude, that was rave jesus.

by jghfcjvkhjkk January 27, 2019

jesus water

When you wake in the middle of the night really needing a glass of water and there's just a bottle right in your reach. It's like a whole other drink because it's just there if you need it

I've just had the most amazing glass of Jesus Water

by Made up words that make sense March 8, 2017