Cuddle Muffin

A alien of a cute starfish-like appearance that kills its prey by cuddling it (suffocating it with its tentacles).

Person 1: Did you hear? Cuddle Muffins are invading Earth
Person 2: That doesn't sound bad at all
Person 1: *gets cudlled by a Cuddle Muffin*
Person 2: Oh...

by ASDFinator2000 May 8, 2018

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Punched muffin

A very unattractive woman

Some bro: dude, that chick is ugly!
Andrew: she's about as appealing as a punched muffin

by Sergeant Doncho June 21, 2019

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Muffin Clutcher

A derogatory name for a homosexual implying that one holds a testicle sack in their hand.

“Aw do you know that Dave Andrews?”

“Aw yeah he was a total muffin clutcher”

by Yeticunt May 24, 2019

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When you and your loved one want to make sexy time and you have to poop, so you first grab frozen blueberries from freezer. Next, both get naked and and man sits on SO face facing towards SO feet and asks, "Will you lick my __________." Then the person getting licked takes a massive dump on the face of the SO and and quickly sprinkles blueberries on the poop, on the face. SO then cusses you out, wipes the poop from the eyes, and frowns.

Last night I asked my girlfriend to lick my nuts while I sat on her face, but I really had to go poop, too. I ended up pooping on her face and giving her a "Grumpy Muffin." She was not happy about it.

by Desperate Grandpa June 7, 2019

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Mixing the muffins

when a male specimen inserts their sausage up the female specimens peach and inside their muffins making and mixing it around, just like one is mixing the muffins in baking. This is called mixing the muffins

johny: ohhhh yeah keep mixing the muffins
bobby:I willlllllll

by yeah the yobbo chats June 11, 2019

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