ass jesus

God himself, embodied into a profile picture of jouta kujo and brings holiness upon the land.

"man, how did joe finally get laid?"
"nobody knows, we can only thank ass Jesus"

by juwupiter February 12, 2020

banana jesus

the god of fun and fruit and has never turns down a good time with freinds and hot chicks.

damn, banana jesus gots the moves!!

by bananajesus2018 September 21, 2017

Jesus Crackers

Communion bread. Only funnier and truer. Best used in the context of satirizing Christianity and in humoring the physical appearance of the bread.

Friend: "I went to church today"
Friend 2: "Ouu what'd you do?"
Friend: "We heard a homily and prayed and received communion!"
Friend 2: "yOu mEan yOu aTe jEsuS cRackErs"

by the Dan Dan that Can Can April 13, 2020

jesus slippers

flip flops or berkenstocks

you cant wear jesus slippers working in the forest

by bandana darren February 3, 2020

Jesus holiday

The practice of a worker taking two days off from work ill before miraculously returning on the third day ie on the third day he rose again

Jarod was off ill on Monday and Tuesday, returning Wednesday before needing a sick note from the doctor. Must of been a Jesus holiday

by 10cc July 1, 2016

Twink Jesus

Twink Jesus aka another word for Troye Sivan.

Person 1:"Hey do you know twink Jesus?"
Person 2: "Hell yea! I love Troye Sivan

by Troyesleftnutt June 17, 2018

Jesus Shield

People who proselytize and wave Jesus' name around when they are directly or indirectly accused of unethical or otherwise morally hazardous behavior.

Wow - what's up with Ted! All I called out was that I thought his cheating on his wife was not cool and he pulled out his Jesus Shield!

by RoSatanSF October 15, 2013