Infomercial Hands

Hands that can't do anything correctly. Infomercial Hands can't strain a pot of pasta or screw in a lightbulb or push buttons on a phone, so they require the purchase of a new fangled item that will come to the rescue.

Scott: What's with that guy? Why can't he tie his shoes?
Peter: He's suffering from Infomercial Hands. He clearly needs ShoeTie™.

by phalagen June 18, 2013

hand prostitute

A person that does things with their hands to another person for their pleasure, in exchange for money. Often alternatively referred to as a 'massage therapist'.

I'm going to the hand prostitute to get these 'knots' out.

by NomadicBu May 4, 2018

handed to him

Another way to say, "beat down" or "ass whipped".

He got into a fight and really got it handed to him.

by Bringthefunk June 30, 2016

Can Hand

The feeling you get when you are craving an ice-cold beer. Your hand starts to tremble and forms the shape of a claw, suitable for picking up a can. The only way to overcome these trembles is to fill the empty space between your thumb and fingers with a cold one.

Alex: Help! (hand starts shaking)
Justin: Oh god Alex has a severe case of can hand.
Doug: Quick get him a beer.
(Justin places beer in Alex's hand)
Alex: Thanks that was a close one.

by TeamOuEsAy March 16, 2010

Pass a hand

To make a move; cop a feel; fondle someone sexually

Man that chick is hot! I'm going to try and pass a hand!

by Bigbootyjudy337 October 20, 2015

hand diddles

Sexual pleasure from hand stimulation.

I was driving down the road and the hand diddles was so good I had to stick my gum in the ashtray.

by Kevin Michael Bradley February 16, 2009

hand crotch

The skin between your thumb and pointer finger is your hand crotch.

My hand crotch is hurting so bad!

by bombshell89 January 24, 2014