French Bitch Slap

A slap across the face with so much force that even Hellen Keller hears it.

Me: Shit! Hellen I think someone just got a French Bitch Slap, did you hear that?
Hellen Keller: MMMMMGAKLHJJIHORFKHFA!!!!!
Me:... Umm I have to go now.

by Faggit! July 23, 2012

french meadow

A euphemism for a lady part; specifically the vagina. The wording comes from the prediliction of Victorians to name anything associated with sex as "French", e.g. french letter, french kiss, etc., and meadow, referring to the soft grass of a meadow akin to a woman's pubic hair.

I laid in her french meadow for about half an hour, then I took a shower and came to work.

So she says to me, Tony, get your galoshes on and take a walk through my french meadow!

I'm a lawn mower, and her cooch is a french meadow.

by lexicon_T October 19, 2012

French Blumpkin

A variation of the traditional Blumpkin, performed while cleaning one's undercarriage on a Bidet.

Always a classy gentlemen, Martine opted to forego the often dirty Blumpkin for the more hygienic French Blumpkin. Stacey was appreciative of the fact she didn't have to taste his shit.

by PV Kings November 12, 2012

french pony tail

A french term for a lady open for business.

When Julie walked out of her new French appartment, with her French pony tail in place, all the men from the cafe knew she was looking for a new lover.

by French lover October 30, 2013

french trapper

The French trapper is when one person is fucking another or receiving head from another and decides to rip a fart while holding their partner down so that the partner can enjoy their essence more fully as they provide pleasure.

Today my wife insisted on having sex missionary style, so I decided to spice things up by giving her a French trapper. She said she tasted it, and now I'm doing the knuckle shuffle to relieve my blue balls. Totally worth it.

by Greasy E December 19, 2013

French Laxative

The name for the often shit-provoking combination of a cup of coffee and a cigarette, both of which are stimulants and thus help to get the bowels rolling. Named for the popular French pastime of lounging in a café with a roll-up. And, of course, laxatives.

"I had a cig and a cup of coffee and then I really needed a shit."
"Aha! The old French Laxative!"

by jend000 December 17, 2014

French Jew

Someone who thinks he is French just because he believes he has the "French Nose". Everybody thinks he is Jewish just because he has the hair that looks like a Jew. Also, he is a Bobert.

Brian: "This fucking kid is Jewish, even though he thinks he's French."

Bobert: "Dude I'm French, and I make piss sounds when shooting a basketball."

French Jew

by Squirt56yz June 4, 2014