Fake Baconing

The act of driving to a parking lot, dialing 911 on a burner phone, and attempting to masturbate and finish before police arrive.

Todd was fake baconing, trying to bust a thrill nut last week and he caught a charge for indecent exposure. He's looking at a third strike situation since he had a firearm and blow in the car with him. I don't know what to tell his family, man. His daughter's third birthday is next week. That kid doesn't stand a chance.

by Oh, hayyyy November 27, 2022

Crotch bacon

Bacon from the genital region.

I could sure go for some crotch bacon with my fallopian eggs.

by Theurbanpalmal February 16, 2020

Big Bacon

A corporate conspiracy of pig farmers whose tentacles of influence extend into politics, Hollywood, and the media. As founding members of ALEC, Big Bacon frequently sponsors pro-bacon legislation and are rumoured to have been involved in the Kennedy assassination.

"Big Bacon donated $3m to the Trump superpac"

by mcgruffallo July 24, 2021

Show Bacon

Anything that can be classified as perfect, illustrious, or otherwise worthy of proud display.

Have you ever cooked bacon to sheer perfection? Not too crispy, not too limp? To the point where you are so utterly impressed and proud of your accomplishment that it comes to completely define the concept of "perfection"?

"Dang, that car is some serious show bacon!"
"Aw honey, you are complete show bacon <3"

by kilowatthours June 21, 2019

Bacon Train

a quick succession of butt kicking against a team or individual

we road the bacon train right over those fools

by ginger winner April 28, 2011

Bacon Blindness

when you need to buy some food and you see something that has bacon in it and you have to buy it regardless of price or quality because well, it has bacon in it.

Guy1: That sandwich has to be about 4 days old
guy2: yeah but it's got bacon in it
guy1: aaah, bacon blindness.

by someguywholikesbacon May 16, 2010

bacon boner

1. when you like bacon so much, just the thought of it gives you a raging one

2. an intense craving for bacon. failure to satisfy this craving results in a psychological and abdominal suffering that surpasses the ache of blue balls.

(watching family guy)

friend 1: hey man why the hell do you have a boner?

friend 2: it's a bacon boner.

friend 1: oh okay thats cool man.

friend 2: wait why the hell do you have a boner?

friend 1: lois has nice tits.

by bacon3490745 May 23, 2012