keyboard tough guy

keyboard tough guy: someone who is needlessly belligerent/confrontational in online settings but is a meek little bitch in real life. Because of poor life choices, a typical keyboard tough guy works a dead end job and lives in a rathole apartment in shitty neighborhood or rent-free with his parents. He is consumed by his jealousy of people who are more successful than him and his willingness to blame everybody but himself for his problems. As a result he suffers from low self esteem and anger issues. In the online world he can a.) raise his self esteem by acting far more aggressively than he would ever do in real life settings and b.) vent his anger by projecting his jealousy, insecurity, and sexual frustration onto others in a non face to face setting. keyboard tough guys tend to use douchey screen names and often make pathetic attempts to sound 'street' in their posts. They also frequently use ALL CAPS (the online equivalent of screaming like a little girl) when berating people. An inordinate number of keyboard tough guys can be found on sports forums (personally attacking people who criticize players or teams they worship) or political forums (spouting off on angry occupy wall street or tea party orientated rants and throwing personal insults at anyone who disagrees with them). When a keyboard tough guy attacks you just troll them right back: they will often run away from an argument they start when another user cuts through the bullshit and puts them in their place .

Football_Fan_1 - Cant believe Roger Goodell reduced Greg Hardy's suspension.

DaRealDeal17 - STOP IT!! Youz just jealous of Hardy cuz he makes more in a month than u do in a year and gets bitches every night! You'z a dumbazz fool you don't know nuthin bout playing in da NFL! Hez a GLADIATOR just like I waz when I played in high school ad idve been honored to have a teammate wit his mad skillz!!! YOU COULDNT DO FOR A DAY WHAT HE DOEZ FOR A LIVNG YOU LOSAH!!!! YUZ A BITCH! YUZ PROVING HOW STUPID YOU ARE!!!! STOP IT!

Football_Fan_1 - Ok keyboard tough guy, what do you know about playing in the NFL? your profile says you're a 40 year old stock boy. And Hardy's going to be washed up & broke in ten years; maybe you guys will be stocking shelves together. and are you trying to sound 'mad ghetto'? you sound like a tool. grow up.

by DRD75 June 16, 2016

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Keyboard Politician

Someone who thinks they know everything about politics and usually butts in whenever there's a political discussion brought up online, you'll find these scum on forums such as Reddit, 4chan, & on other social media such as Instagram, Facebook & Youtube.

Rob: I think Reasonable Doubt is one of the greatest albums ever that talks about the ghetto
Josh: White people caused the ghetto in the 1st place
Rob: Why the fuck are you bringing this shit up

Josh: Because what the government did was terrible
Rob: You don't even know this shit you keyboard politician

by SkkkrtSkrt July 3, 2017

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Keyhole squish

A key is inserted into the mans cock hole and twisted as if unlocking a door. The inner penile tissue should tear and can be sucked out using a woman’s lips.

That guys dick is fucked, I heard Sandra gave him a keyhole squish

by Swaggy longbottom September 21, 2017

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Cold keyboard

Ignoring someone via the internet; giving a virtual cold shoulder. Giving someone the cold keyboard may be due to:
- Annoyance with said person, caused by either a genuine problem or something utterly fucking stupid, like trolling.
- Having gotten pwned and having no possibility of coming back, giving the cold keyboardee immense satisfaction.
Et cetera.

When Johnny didn't understand that Betty's monosyllabic responses to his IMs meant she didn't feel like talking, she resorted to giving him the cold keyboard.

Sally gave me the cold keyboard after I kicked her in the ass arguing logic on facebook. There is no sweeter satisfaction.

by KasiaR August 18, 2010

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