by aubrito July 03, 2017
a mythical creature belived to have speacil powers.
guy: did u read that story book
dude: the bible
guy: yeah
dude: jesus christ is so fake he's the old super man
dude: the bible
guy: yeah
dude: jesus christ is so fake he's the old super man
by d.skaife May 08, 2008
by amanderineorange February 25, 2008
The world's greatest ever conman.
Jesus was the conman every conman since has tried to be. His skills were thousands of years ahead of his time which is how he was so convincing.
His incredible cons have managed to convince over 1 billion people that he was, in fact, the son of God.
Jesus was the conman every conman since has tried to be. His skills were thousands of years ahead of his time which is how he was so convincing.
His incredible cons have managed to convince over 1 billion people that he was, in fact, the son of God.
Jesus turns water into wine. Everyone is amazed. What they didn't realise is that they were so drunk already that they didn't remember seeing him switch the barrels.
Jesus wakes the dead. Everyone is amazed. No-one saw when he slipped the guy who "died" twenty pieces of silver to fake his own death and then "awaken".
Miracles, my ass
Jesus wakes the dead. Everyone is amazed. No-one saw when he slipped the guy who "died" twenty pieces of silver to fake his own death and then "awaken".
Miracles, my ass
by XLr8oR_2020 June 26, 2010
an imaginary friend you have till you reach maturity. understandibly a large majority of the worlds population have not reached that stage in development. the are called "christians"'. they ban condoms, condem homosexuals and hang blacks. otherwise they are a reasonable sort. btw... he was a carpenter that lived with his mother, who was a virgin... yeah... hes cool.
little girl -"mommy... whens jesus coming back...?"
communist mother- "ahh those dirty capitalist regimes..."
communist mother- "ahh those dirty capitalist regimes..."
by jewboylol November 12, 2009
some mistake baby shot out of this ho's cunt and started doing card tricks. everyone thought it was awesome and spread a rumor saying he was magical. then a couple dudes got jealous of him and beat him half to death with baseball bats. that gave jesus some brain damage and he started thinking he was the son of god. he started gloating about it so everyone started thinking he was a dick, so they all gathered to torture him. jesus was too crazy to give shit, plus he had 4 strokes and 3/4ths of his body was numb. they thought it would be funny if they made him rot on a cross for awhile so they pounded nails into his limbs. he died slowly. 3 days later a buncha fags went in a cave and saw a dead guy and thought it was jesus so they spread a rumour, and the cult of christianty began!
Jesus: i can du magic trix
dude: nuuh
jesus: yeah huh
dude: well i can beat you half to death *beats*
jesus: lol ima the son of god u no kill me
dude: dude stfu
jesus: no, im da son of god
dude: man, ima fukin kill you *kills*
jesus: brb
dude: lol nuuh
dude: nuuh
jesus: yeah huh
dude: well i can beat you half to death *beats*
jesus: lol ima the son of god u no kill me
dude: dude stfu
jesus: no, im da son of god
dude: man, ima fukin kill you *kills*
jesus: brb
dude: lol nuuh
by Anal Penetration By Force August 06, 2011