by Super Mew March 07, 2004
Damn, she isn't in a good mood today. I think I'll pull a Ted Cruz on her instead of solving the problem.
by Amira :) April 05, 2021
we were fighting infected all across the square
the scent of their blood was in the air
a witch in the courtyard gave us quite a scare
and things only got worse from there
when a hunter grabbed bill and thrashed him in twain
francis was hung by a smoker as he howled in pain
zoey with her pistol and took careful aim
she fired 2 shots, but it was all in vain
just then, when all hope had been burned and bled
the infected all scream and turned and fled
clothed in a flannel shirt blue black and red
came an angel of Badass, named Chicago Ted
with his twin shotguns a blazing, he slaughtered that horde
till he got bored of that, and switched to his sword
his cap coated in blood, while us he ignored
for the thrill of the hunt was his own reward
now he was no chuck norris, dont get me wrong
but ted could do this crap all day long
the survivors lept up and fought along
but ted would do this work for a song
with corpses piled as high as can be
Ol' ted lit a smoke, and howled with glee
as he used his sword to carve knotches you see
into his belt, a thousand times 53
as a tank round the corner, we filled up with dread
but he just laughed an shook his head
with a powerful holler the wild savior said
"NO ZOMBIE IS SAFE FROM CHICAGO TED!"
the scent of their blood was in the air
a witch in the courtyard gave us quite a scare
and things only got worse from there
when a hunter grabbed bill and thrashed him in twain
francis was hung by a smoker as he howled in pain
zoey with her pistol and took careful aim
she fired 2 shots, but it was all in vain
just then, when all hope had been burned and bled
the infected all scream and turned and fled
clothed in a flannel shirt blue black and red
came an angel of Badass, named Chicago Ted
with his twin shotguns a blazing, he slaughtered that horde
till he got bored of that, and switched to his sword
his cap coated in blood, while us he ignored
for the thrill of the hunt was his own reward
now he was no chuck norris, dont get me wrong
but ted could do this crap all day long
the survivors lept up and fought along
but ted would do this work for a song
with corpses piled as high as can be
Ol' ted lit a smoke, and howled with glee
as he used his sword to carve knotches you see
into his belt, a thousand times 53
as a tank round the corner, we filled up with dread
but he just laughed an shook his head
with a powerful holler the wild savior said
"NO ZOMBIE IS SAFE FROM CHICAGO TED!"
by Nobody Worth Mentioning December 26, 2008
Used in a sarcastic tone when someone has made an obvious "scientific discovery". Derives from the global TED conferences.
Person 1: "I left my water bottle outside in the snow and it froze!"
Person 2: "Really? Maybe you should do a f***ing TED talk about it, surely no one has heard of that before."
Person 2: "Really? Maybe you should do a f***ing TED talk about it, surely no one has heard of that before."
by w8w7uh April 12, 2011
My best friend texted me that his car broke down in the middle of nowhere, but I ignored the text and took a Ted Cruise.
by Browneyedboy69 February 20, 2021
A gay man or lesbian, usually closeted, who actively works against gay rights or supports politicians that do so. The Uncle Tom of homosexuality.
Named after megachurch leader Ted Haggard, who was infamously shown to have taken meth and received massages from a gay escort in private while denouncing the evils of homosexuality in public.
Named after megachurch leader Ted Haggard, who was infamously shown to have taken meth and received massages from a gay escort in private while denouncing the evils of homosexuality in public.
by W@tcher February 02, 2007
by bedtundy April 16, 2019