bed pirate

one who plunders and steals all of the blankets and covers whilst their partner/victim sleeps...leaving them cold.

The sex was fantastic, but he was such a freakin' bed pirate I finally had to move out.

by DiDi November 8, 2004

bed potato

A person who is so lazy that they never make it to the couch to be a couch potato, instead remaining in bed all day and only getting up for food, drink, and bathroom usage.

My roommate thinks I am a bed potato but I'm really just making the most of my day off.

by BedfordshireResident March 16, 2009

bed thief

A pet laying right in the middle of the bed.

"My cat was such a bed thief last night"

by Ace323 January 31, 2019

Bed lunch

The snack your French grandfather has before he goes to bed at 6pm. He sends you home with random food he insists you, too, make into your own bed lunch.

“Take those cream horns home with you, they’ll be a good bed lunch.”
“I think I’ll have some creton on toast for my bed lunch tonight.”

by alliedoobs January 18, 2020

bed gravity

An irresistible force that draws you back to bed, or toward any mattress, couch, or other soft horizontal surface. Usually stronger when one or more persons are already on said furnature.

Mom: Time to get up for school!
Son: Must! Fight! Bed gravity! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

by jevanyn May 13, 2011

bed hair

The hair that you have when you wake up, often jumbled.

Oh my gosh that bed hair Jennifer had when she woke up was so cute!

by BedHairIsSOCute August 29, 2011

Bed Bomb

A large turd released during sex

Kiersten : Hey Jake there is nothing under these covers besides my hot naked body!
Jake : O Wow!
Kiersten : Well aren't you gonna ravish my body and fill it up with cum?
Jake : Oh Baby!
Kiersten : Oh Jake! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Pew what's that smell?
Jake : Smells like shit!
Kiersten : God Damn't Jake I throw myself at you and you release a Bed Bomb!
Jake : Who cares just ignore it come on baby spread that pussy!
Kiersten : Fuck No I will not make love in poop get out of here!
Jake : Fine hope you enjoy my shit!
Kiersten : Take your Bed Bomb with you!
Jake : You Bitch you got shit on my new jeans!
Kiersten : Ha Ha

by SlopNChop December 11, 2017